Comapny Profile
Name: Takuan Soho	Date of Birth: 710316	Age 30
Origin: Okinowa, Japan.	Eyes: Brown	Weight: 140#
Sex: Male	Hair: Black	Height: 5'-4"
Profile: Agressive Meglomaniac	Class: 96	Grade: A-2

• Mayor's Mansion. Wind River, Wyoming. 990523 2000
  In the small town of WInd River HMMWV's rolled, looking for a mad geneticist named Jefferson. They came to prevent him from getting the last piece of his genetic puzzle that would breed an avian flu with a human strain of flu and create the next super virus that would circle the globe creating a pandemic. Jefferson hid in the mountains surrounding this small picturesque town of farmers and ranchers. His sister's house was under guard and constant surveillance, as it was the most likely place it would be located. Martial law had been declared and the Air Force had sent in it's best Blue Beret Recovery Team.

  To this same small town the Company had sent its best. A five man Mop-Squad. They were here to acquire that Virus agent no matter what the cost. To keep it out of enemy hands was primary, and prevent civilians from dying was secondary. Takuan had come to this small town under the guise of agents from the CDC. Here his team of agents had set up and located the terrorist known as Jefferson in less than 24 hours. Black Helo Mark I's were good for something...

  It had been Takuan's plan to set up a campsite and stock it with food, and fire, and liquor. Then Nature took over. A hungry, tired, cold man in the woods would find that inviting location simply by following the laws of nature. That there were three snipers protecting the single gorgous female agent posing as a lonely tourist, just stacked the odds in their favor.

  Takuan had engineered the plan, then made bets with the agents that it would work in three days. After a brief hieatus in the small town to get the lay of things, he moved into the CDC quarantine center under false names provided by the groups Decker. This was nearly a week after they had been sent here to follow the operations of the Blue Beret Recovery Team. They could have left after the night of the second day, for Nix the female agent had caught Jefferson, but Takuan had other plans (even though he won nearly $10,000). He had been given orders by the Department head to ruin the career of this Captain in charge. The Captain was a superior officer if all the reports about him were to be believed. Takuan seldom believed other peoples reports.

  After his brief recon, he took a room at the Mayor's Mansion, as his position befitted him. It was just a small room in the basement of the guest house, but it was warm. After moving in he ajourned into the sitting room. Wearing just a light windbreaker over a emerald polo shirt and beige Dockers he was dressed casually for the warm Wyoming summers. They did little to help his appearance, infact, they even made him look more the nerd. Pens in pockets, he still broadcast geek. Gangly and thin in the extreme, even his head looked large and mishaped. A jaw that was too big and eyes that seemed to want to pop out decorated his face that was otherwise clean and scarless. After settling in and spending some time in the house sitting room reading a good book he had gotten the option he had been looking for.

  He watched her every night for nearly a week. Mel, came in and cried in the chair by the fire at approximately midnight. She was serving the Captain in his quarters. This was the third week of the operation here in Wyoming, and it had been eighteen days since they had caught Jefferson. This was one reason why the Captain and his men were unable to capture the fugative, but Takuan was sure they wouldn't have anyways. He was seldom wrong.

  Sitting curled up in a overstuffed horsehair chair in front of the fire sat his leverage. She had long auburn red hair that blazed in the firelight. Her creme features were accented by the dark black embroidered vest she wore with a stark white dress shirt. The shirt was cut low to show off her ample bosum. Sitting with her legs tucked under her long crimson dress she held her head in her hands and gently sobbed. He decided to make his move.

  "Madame, may I enquire why the sad gesture?" Takuan asked softly even though they were the only two in the library.

  "Huh?"

  "I don't mean to intrude or pry, but I couldn't help noticing that you seem upset."

  "That swine Captain has asked the Mayor that I serve at his room tonight again."

  "Why would you have to do that?"

  "My Father is the Mayor and he is terribly afraid of the Feds."

  "What makes the Captain so bad?"

  "He tries to grope me when I serve him wine or fix his bath. Ugh! I don't want to go in there again."

  "You are the child of your Father and do live under his roof I take it, but this is no way for a fine lady, such as yourself to be treated. How would you like me to accompany you tonight into his domicile?" he asked with a genuine smile that could have come from an angel.

  "Oh, that would be just wonderful sir." she fairly beamed.

  "Then you should run off and wash your face. No need to keep the guest waiting. I'll meet you by the stairs." spoke our galant rogue as he took her had and gently helped her to her feet.

  "Why, how nice of you. I didn't catch your name."

  "Dr. Soho of the CDC out of Atlanta. But you, my dear, may call me Takuan."

  "I am Melony. How nice it is to meet you," she nearly whispered as she did a mock curtsy.

  After about twenty minutes Mel was washed up and met Takuan at the stairs. After a flight of stairs they were up in the Captains room. She began preparing his bath, while the Captain took some wine. But clearly he was becoming frustrated with the presence of Takuan. Curled up like a blind beggar, sitting on his knees, Takuan just read a book and typed mindlessly into his PowerBook look-alike TL8 micro-computer.

  "Hey you!" he shoulted, breaking the strained silence. As the Captain walked out of the bathroom wearing a fine silk embroidered robe and matching slippers.

  "You mean me?" Takuan asked innocently.

  "Yes, you! I have no business with you. Leave!" he spoke with a air of superiority and domination.

  "Oh, I don't mind staying." With that he went back to typing notes on what he was reading and scanning his magazine articles.

  "Oh, you don't, do you?" the Captain continued, growing more upset by the second.

  "No, not at all." Click, clack, click clack went his computer keys.

  "Will, I mind. It spoils the taste of good wine to have someone around reading." spat the Captain through a glass of wine.

  "Oh, I'm sorry. How rude of me, I'll close the book," and close the book he did, and the three magazines, and the PowerBook.

  "The very sight annoys me."

  "All right then. I'll have Mel put it all away," he began to motion to Mel but was cut off.

  "Not the book, you idiot! I'm talking about you! You spoil the setting." He shouted as he pointed with the now drained wine goblet.

  "Now, that is a problem, isn't it? It's not at though I were a gypsy and could just change into a puff of smoke and disappear," he added with a thick air of sarcasm and his face twisted in a mocking glare.

  "Get out! Get out you fool! Get out of my sight." Hissed the Captain with real vigor.

  "Very well," taking Mel by the hand, he addressed her. "The guest says he prefers to be alone. To love solitude is the mark of the sage. We mustn't bother him further. Come."

  "Why... why, you... you..." he stammered.

  "Is something wrong?" asked Takuan, almost to the door.

  "Who said anything about taking Mel with you, you ugly moron!"

  "I've observed over the years that not many scholars or researchers are particularly handsome. Not many thugs are either, for that matter. Take you for example."

  The Captains eyes nearly leapt from their sockets, "What!"

  "Have you ever considered your mustache? I mean, have you ever really taken the time to look at it, to evaluate it objectively?" Indeed the Captains moustache was ridiculous on his 6'-6" heavily muscled frame. It was unkept and scraggly to say the least. His face was round and scared from either acne or napalm. Though not a pretty man, he was a very large man.

  "You crazy bastart," shouted the Captain as he reached for his Beretta 92S sitting on the desk. "Watch yourself!"

  "Hmmm. How do I go about watching myself?" mocked Takuan, twirling his eyeballs into his head, and revolving them about as he turned 360 degrees, trying to 'watch himself.'

  "I've taken all I can take. Now you're going to get what's coming to you!" he jestured threateningly as he took four big steps towards Takuan, narrowing the distance down to a mere meter.

  Laughing hysterically in a high pitched whine, Takuan continued, "Does that mean you plan to blow my head off? If so, forget it. It would be a terrible bore."

  "Huh?"

  "A bore. I can't think of anything more boring than to blow off a scientists head. I mean it would just fall to the floor and lay there laughing up at you. Not at all a very grand accomplishment, and what in the world good would it do you?" he again asked mockingly.

  "Well, lets just say that I'd have the satisfaction of shutting you up. It's be pretty hard for you to keep your insolent chatter!"

  "But, Captain!" Mel slipped in between them as the Captain pressed the barrel of his weapon to Takuan's head. Mel slipped her beautiful form in between the men in a manner to protect Takaun. "What are you saying Takaun? People don't speak that way to a respected officer. Now just say you're sorry. Come on, appologize to the captain."

  Takaun, however was anything but finished.

  "Get out of the way Mel. I'm all right. Do you really think I'd let myself be debrained by a dolt like this, who through commanding scores of able, armed mean has wasted three weeks trying to find one exhausted, half-starved fugitive? If he hasn't enough sense to find Jefferson, it would be amazing if he'd be able to outwit me!"

  "Don't move!" commanded the captain. His face turned purple as he reached forward to cycle a round into battery on his Beretta. "Stand aside Mel! I'm going to splatter the brains of this loud mouth all over the wall!"

  Mel fell to the Captains feet and pleaded, "You have every reason to be angry, but please be patient. He's not quite right in the head. He talks to everybody this way. He doesn't mean anything by it, really!"

  "What are you saying Mel?" objected Takuan. "There's nothing wrong with my mind, and I'm not joking. I'm only telling the truth, which no one seems to like to hear. He's a dolt, so I called him a dolt. You want me to lie?"

  "You'd better not say that again," thundered the Captain.

  "I'll say it as often as I wish. By the way, I don't suppose it makes any difference to you officers how much time you squander looking for Jefferson, but it's a terrible burden to the coffers of the city. Do you realize how many resources you're using. Do you realize how much you're disrupting the season, by enforcing martial law and keeping the farmers from their fields? Pretty soon people won't be able to eat or make payment for next season. Forcing reservists from both military and law enforcement into action, with low wages I might add. It's a disgrace."

  "Hold you tongue, traitor. That's slander against the government!"

  "It's not the U.S. Government I'm criticizing; it's bureaucratic officials like you that I am. For one thing, exactly why are you lounging around here tonight? What gives you the right to relax in your nice comfortable robe all snug and warm, take leisurely baths and have your wine poured for you by a pretty young girl? You call that serving your country?"

  The Captain was speechless.

  "Isn't it your job to serve this country and exercise you mission, tirelessly until this villan is brought to justice? Look at yourself? You just close your eyes to the fact that you're keeping honest people from making a living in this city. You don't even have any consideration for your own men. You're supposed to be on an official mission, so what do you do? Every chance you get, you litterally stuff yourself full with other peoples food and drink. I should say you are a classic example of corruption, cloaking yourself with the authority of your superior to do nothing more that dissipate the energies of the working people for your own selfish ends."

  The Captain was by now too stunned to close his gaping mouth. Takuan pressed on.

  "Now just try cutting my head off and sending it to the director of the FBI! That, I can tell you, would suprise him. He'd probably say, 'Why, Takuan! Has only your head come to visit today? Where in the world is the rest of you?'

  "No doubt you'd be interested to learn that Director Skinner and I used to be on the same Special Taskforce togther back in the 98 Vatican bombing. We've also had many long and pleasant chats inside the J. Edgar Hoover building in D.C."

  Scraggly Moustache's virulence drained from him in an instant.

  "First, you'd better sit down," said the Agent. "If you think I'm lying, I'll be happy to go with you to the JEH building. As a gift, I'd be happy to bring some of the wonderfull Spiced Buffalo Jerky they make here, he's really quite fond of it, you know.

  "However, there is nothing more tedious than calling on a Director. Moreover, if the subject of your activities and your conduct were to come up in the conversation, I couldn't really lie to him. It'd probably end up with you serving twenty inside Levenworth, I told you from the beginning to stop threatening me, but you soldiers are all the same. You never really think about consequences. And that's you greatest failing.

  "Now put that pistol back in its holster and I'll tell you something else."

  Deflated, the Captain complied.

  "Of course, you are familiar with General Sun-tzu's Art of War--you know, the classic Chinese work on military strategy? I assume any warrior in your position would be intimately acquainted with such an important book. Anyway, the reason I mention it is that I'd like to give you a lesson illustrating one of the book's main principles. I'd like to show you how to capture Jefferson without losing anymore of your own men or causing the villages any more trouble than you already have. Now, this has to do with your official work, so you really should listen carefully." He turned to the girl, "Mel, pour the captain another glass of wine, will you?"

  The Captain was a man in his forties, but it was clear from the expression on his face that Takaun's tounge lashing had humbled him. His bluster had evaporated.

  Meekly he said, "No, I don't want any more wine. I hope you'll forgive me. I had no idea you were a friend of Director Skinners. I've been very rude." The man was abject to the point of being commical, but Takuan refrained from rubbing it in.

  "Let's forget about that. What I want to discuss is how to capture Jefferson. That is what you have to do to complete your mission and get a good appraisal on your next review, isn't it?"

  "Yes."

  "Of course, I also know you don't care how long it takes to catch the man. After all, the longer it takes, the longer you can stay here at the Mansion, eating, drinking, and ogling Mel."

  "Please don't bring that up anymore. Particularly before the Director." The soldier looked like a child about to cry.

  "I'm prepared to consider the whole incident a secret. But if this running around in the mountains all day long keeps up, the farmers will be in serious trouble. Not only the farmers but all the rest of the people here as well. Now, as I see it, your trouble is that you have not employed the proper strategy. Actually, I don't think you have employed any strategy at all. I take it you do not know The Art of War?"

  "I'm ashamed to admit it, but I don't."

  "Well, you should be ashamed! And you shouldn't be suprised when I call you a dolt. You may be an official, but you are sadly uneducated and totaly ineffectual. There's no use in my beating you over the head with the obvious however. I'll simply make you a proposition. I personally offer to capture Jefferson for you in three days."

  "You capture him?"

  "Do you think I am joking?"

  "No, but..."

  "But what?"

  "But counting the reinforcements from Butte and all the police and reservists, we've had over two hundred men combing the mountains for him nearly three weeks."

  "I'm well aware of that fact."

  "And since it's spring, Jefferson has the advantage. There's plenty to eat up there this time of year."

  "Are you planning on waiting till it snows, then? Another eight months or so?"

  "No, uh, I don't think we can afford to do that."

  "No, you certainly can't. That's precisely why I'm offering to catch him for you. I don't need any help; I can do it alone. On second thoughts, though, maybe I should take Mel along with me. Yes, the two of us would be enough."

  "You aren't serious are you?"

  "Would you please be quiet! Are you implying that Takuan Soho spends all his time making up jokes?"

  "Sorry."

  "As I said, you don't know The Art of War, and as I see it, that is the most important reason for your admirable failure. I, on the other hand, may be a simple lab rat to you, but I believe I understand Sun-tzu. There's only one stipulation, and if you won't agree to it, I'll just have to sit back and watch you bumble about until the snow falls, and maybe your head as well."

  "What's the condition?" said the Captain warily.

  "If I bring back the fugitive, I get to decide his fate."

  "All right then. If you catch him, you get to decide what to do with him. Now, what happens if you don't find him in three days?"

  "I hang myself from the big oak in the center of town."

  With that he shook the Captain's hand and he and Mel walked out.

  "How do you expect to catch this fugative?" questioned Mel.

  "It is simply a fact of nature. You would not propose that a Tiger while stronger than a man is smarter. For this very reason, even more than you know, I will catch the man Jefferson. While the Captain and his men are physically powerful, they are mentally, insects. We'll be back here with the Captain tomorrow."

  Confidantly, he walked off the grounds after giving Mel orders to dress warm, pack light, bring lots of socks, and take a poncho. He on the other hand, went straight to the CDC quarantine center and began requisitioning camping gear and outdoor supplies. A short six hours later they were hiking in the rugged mountains of Wyoming.

  After losing all of the Captains men that were following them, they set up camp, and waited for two days. By the end of the second day Mel was getting worried that Takuan would have to hang himself, but after another filling meal (laced with sleeping agent) she was fast asleep. Then Nix moved in and dropped off Jefferson into Takuan's care. "Watch this one, he's a real treat."

  "Fret not. He is well within my power," replied Takuan. A shot of knockout juice to him removed him memories of the agents, and left him unconsious for Takuan to get another eight hours of sleep.

  On the morning of the third day, Takuan returned to the town, rested, relaxed, and well sexed. His retrieval of the terrorist would certainly destroy the Captains career. After embarrasing the Captain if front of his whole staff, he rode off in a CDC helicopter, headed straight for the Zoo.