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The
House Whine
Martha Stewart: Finely Fermented Bitch of Gracious Living....HA!
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Today's House Whines |
Great Cakes and Edible Monuments, The Final Episode (maybe)
Ok, so I know you're confused......is Great Cakes open, or is it closed? Well, it was open......then it closed......then it opened......now it's closed (cue the Jack-in-the-Box music!). I really think this is it this time though......but in Friday the 13th, Jason kept coming back.....so you just never know. All I know is, I won't be starring in any more sequels......they can get another sucker for that! Time for me to get a real job.....whatever that will be. Hopefully I can reveal my pastry talents to the Quimper Peninsula.......or I can bus dishes somewhere......or......make millions on eBay. Stay tuned. Or not. |
| Snow Predictions in Seattle..give it up! The menu says Chateau Ste Michelle and you're served Mad Dog. To anyone who has lived in Seattle, you know what I'm talking about. It's a slow news day, and the top three TV stations are searching desperately for that lead story that gets ratings. Serve the community interest...? Nah! Computer models at the National Weather Service indicate that if the offshore flow continues the way it has, and a certain storm system comes in from the North and if the winds aloft hit a certain speed at the exact point in the time-space continuum, it MIGHT snow. The desperate ratings-hungry TV stations grab at this bit of news. It is promptly fed into the "Alarmist-Exaggeration News Converter", and voila! Afternoon news teasers occur in the middle of Oprah warning of an "Arctic Blast" or "Icy Express" or "Stormwatch 2001"...of course you have to tune in at 5 o'clock for all the details. Worse, you have to sit through all the news fluff before you finally get to the weather guy (who of course, has hair that's impervious to any weather-that may be the only job requirement actually) and then he tells you the details that this MIGHT happen, and if it does, well, WE were the FIRST ONES to tell you, and bow down to us, because, certainly, we have saved you from certain death. Then on the 11 o'clock news, you see sacrificial reporter Jim Foreman ON LOCATION at a place where the snow is predicted to hit hardest (2 blocks east of Roy Street), where he's standing out in the rain in his station-issue parka (from REI) and his familiar refrain, "No, there's no flakes yet, but when it hits YOU'LL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW!" We Seattle natives are the first to know that this is yet another prediction wash-out and we shut off the TV in favor of more predictable weather sources....namely the thermometer and the window. We also know that the only flakes that exist in Seattle are the ones who run the TV stations. |
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