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2.01 - "Witch Trial"

Piper: It's not what you think.. we were just.. we.. we.. were just kissing, that's all.
Phoebe: Piper, you don't have to justify it. You're single. You're responsible. You're way overdue in the sex department. I say go for it.
Piper: I'm not way overdue. All right, maybe a little. But that's besides the point. I would never just sleep with a guy to get something. You know that.

Piper: So much for being demon free.

Dan: I'm sorry. It's nice meeting you.
Prue: You too. ( Dan leaves )
Phoebe: I saw him first.
Piper: Demons now, drooling later.

Piper: Well, apparently we've got our clothes to lose.
Phoebe: I see that. ( Phoebe is taking of her clothes )
Piper: No.. Whoa, whoa. Wait. What are you doing ?
Phoebe: When in Rome.
Piper: No. No. No. We're not in Rome, Phoebe. We're in California and it's illegal here.

Rob: Clubs are an extremely high risk business, Piper. You could lose your shirt.
Piper: Well, it wouldn't be the first time today.

Phoebe: AT&T, Power of Three.

Phoebe: When did the Woogie man come unvanquished?
Piper: A couple seconds ago.

Phoebe: We're screwed.
Piper: And we're out of wine
(Dan comes to door with wine)

Morris: Andy told me to tell you that if anything were to happen to him that it wouldn't be your fault. He didn't want to you to blame yourself.
Prue: Too late.

Phoebe: (about Prue-) I knew you'd come around.
Piper: Excuse me?
Phoebe: Well, I knew deep down.

Phoebe: And we didn't even have to get naked.

Piper: Is it just me, or is this attic getting awful crowded lately ?

2.02 - "Mortality Bites "

Phoebe: What did you buy ?
Piper: Doody.
Prue: We weren't out of that.
Piper: No, I stepped in it again. That man has turned our front walk into a puppy minefield.

Prue: Did he see you ?
Phoebe: So what if he did ? What's he gonna do ? Cry witch ?

Piper: I wonder how I look ?
Phoebe: Piper, you look great but this is hardly the time toÖ..
Piper: Not now. In the future. When we went back to the seventies we saw ourselves as kids now we'll be seeing ourselves walking around ten years older. All the vanquishing. Think of the wear and tear.

Piper: What's going on ?
Prue: I don't know, but I could really get used to this. Check me out. I don't just work at Bucklands, I own it. And three more. Paris, Tokyo and London.
Piper: And you're blond.
Prue: Yeah, strange.

Prue: Oh, surprise. Here we go, up the stairs, into the attic, grabbing the Book of Shadows. Please tell me we're still not gonna be doing this in ten years ?
Piper: Apparently not.
Prue: What ?
Piper: The book is gone.

Prue: Okay, apparently my power isn't the only one that's grown. You just frozeÖ..
Piper: Everything. What a difference a decade makes.

Prue: Like hell.
Piper: Prue, relax. We've seen what your new powers can do when you're angry.
Prue: He's gonna stay frozen right ?
Piper: If he knows what's good for him, he'll stay frozen.

Piper: Don't people normally break out of prison?
Guard: Freeze!
Piper: Good idea.

Pratt: I love the smell of dead witch in the morning.

Phoebe: Wrong thing done for the right reason is still the wrong thing. Our job is to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty.

Piper: This guy still hasn't learned his lesson.
Phoebe: Apparently neither have we.

Phoebe: Once you break the small rules it's only a matter of time before the big ones are next
Prue: A very smart girl once told me we are supposed to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty.

(Leo comes to door)
Piper: Speak of the angel.

Leo: I'm willing to work on it.
Piper: Good, don't ever forget you said that.

2.03 - "The Painted World "

Phoebe: Piper, it was an accident. It's not like I borrowed Prue's car so I could drive it into a pole.

Prue: Stop. You're obsessing.
Piper: Well, it runs in the family.
Prue: I don't obsess. I think.. intensely.

Dan: She needs help with a paper. It's for Bio class, you know, something with the human reproductive systemÖ.
Piper: Oh, ..you mean sex.
Dan: It's just way to awkward for me to talk to my nice about.
Piper: Yeah,.. sure, not to worry. I have plenty of experience.
Dan: Really.. with.. with sex ?
Piper: No.. I mean, uh.. talking about it. Yeah.

Piper: What's wrong with you ?
Phoebe: Nothing.
Piper: No, you're like "askrainman.com". You haven't been in the Book of Shadows, have you ?
Phoebe: No, why would I do that ?

Piper: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah !
Prue: Piper ?
Piper: What the hell is happening ? Where are we ?
Prue: Allright, hurry. Just get to the bookcase fast ?
Piper: Whahh !
Prue: Watch out !
Piper: Uhh! ( she freezes a fireball ) Whoa ! Whoa ! Wow !

Piper: I don't want to live forever. I don't want to spend the rest of my life time trapped in a painting, hanging on some wall, wearing a broken shoe.
Prue: Well, neither do I but there is a solution.
Piper: You call that a solution ? Braving endless fireballs to get a message to Phoebe ?

Malcolm: Another witch sister ?
Piper: Not any witch. A super witch. She's a genius.
Prue: Piper, I don't really think that you're helping the situation.
Piper: No, I mean it. She's a walking brain trust. An Einstein with cleavage. She cast a spell on herself, Prue. A smart spell.
Prue: What ?

Malcolm: Be careful near the window !
Prue: What's wrong with the window ? ( blades come out of the walls near the window )
Piper: Wha ! Whaa! Blades !
Prue: Are you okay ?
Piper: Uh, for now. But I can't reach the window because if I lean forward I'm sliced and diced.

Prue: I thought he was an innocent. I thought he needed help.
Piper: I'm not talking to you.. forever.

Piper: Hey, how did you get the collar from Malcolm ?
Phoebe: Oh, I used a very complex, very different kind of smarts.
Prue: You picked his pocket.
Phoebe: I picked his pocket.
Piper: Phoebe !

2.04 - "Devil's Music "

Piper: All this freeing and destroying, is this in between sets or during the encore ?
Leo: Look, I know you're upset.
Piper: No.. no.. I skated past upset just after you came in the door. Right now I'm at furious.

Phoebe: "Trapped within the demon, the unfortunates are kept alive. Their souls tortured for the pleasure he gets from their suffering". We got to get them out of there.
Piper: With what ? Demonic Ipecac ?

Piper: What is that ?
Phoebe: It's a balloon.
Piper: Okay, where is it ?
Phoebe: Where is what ?
Piper: The spoonful of sugar big enough to hide that thing.
Phoebe: You're looking at her.

Phoebe: Somewhere between confusing and complicated ? Just talk to him honey. It'll be okay.
Piper: I'd rather just freeze him and kick him in theÖ..( doorbell rings ) That better not be him.
Phoebe: In the shins ?
Piper: Not exactly.

Phoebe: He's huge and ugly, I really think we need a bigger balloon.
Piper: Maybe we just came in to soon.
Phoebe: Maybe he saw the poison.
Piper: Well in any case, the spook's spooked.

Morris: Right, and this where you say Daryl, and I say Prue and you say something like 'what are you doing here'.

Dan: (about Jenny) She's just feeling a little...
Piper: Betrayed. It's OK, I know the feeling.

Piper: I wish we could just stuff his head in a toilet and make him cough up the demon.
Phoebe: Oh, honey, still upset with Leo ?
Piper: I'm talking about Carlton.
Phoebe: I can't keep up.

Piper: Listen up skid mark, You tell us how to save Jenny and get Elvis out of the building, or spending an eternity in hell is gonna be the least of your worries.

Leo: Couple of months ago, when I almost died and you saved my life. I left and you said.. that you loved me.
Piper: I thought you were gone.
Leo: Well, sometimes I linger.. Did you mean it ?
Piper: Yeah, I meant it.. You.. you linger ?

2.05 - "She's A Man Baby A  Man "

Phoebe: But every night it's with a different man.. telling me that I'm irresistible and then we.. well let just say we could win the gold metal in the Hugh Hefner Olympics.
Piper: And this is a bad thing ?
Phoebe: No. It's a good thing. It's.. it's a very good thing. Until I kill them.
Piper: That's how your dream ends ? You kill the guy ?
Phoebe: Each and every night, Piper. I told you something is wrong with me.
Piper: There's nothing wrong with you. It's a dream. A metaphor for for extreme sexual frustration. Trust me, I should know.

Piper: Sweet dreams. Don't kill anyone. ( to Prue ) Don't ask.

Phoebe: I could feel his body shake uncontrollably beneath mine.
Piper: And now you're making me sick.
Phoebe: How do you think I feel ? I'm living it. I can still taste his blood.
Piper: Okay !

Phoebe: I'm sorry. Wait a minute. I tell you that maybe I'm some kind of man-killing demon and you want me to go to bachelor central ?

Prue: Okay, you know, for your information, I do not have man troubles. Financial ones now, yes. But defiantly not any man troubles.
Phoebe: We're out of here.
Prue: She.. you..
Phoebe: Okay.. it's okay.. it's all right.
Prue: I don't. Honestly. Tell her.
Phoebe: She doesn't.

Piper: Prue, ( who's been turned into a man ) please come out.
Prue: Not until you reverse the spell.
Phoebe: Come on. It's been over an hour already. Do you think she's touching herself ?

Prue: How can I save anyone ? Okay, I look ridiculous. I'm wearing clothes from the  ex-boyfriend pile. I have hair in strange places and I have a penis.

Piper: All you have to do is visualize a man that you admire and then the emulate him. You know, the walk will follow.
Prue: A man I admire.. all right.. I got that.
Piper: Okay. ( she walks and does a girlie turn at the end ) The man you admire is Richard Simmons ?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Nice body, great tan.
Manny/Prue: Awesome truck.
Phoebe: You know, I think you really are becoming a man.

Phoebe: Uh, did Manny just check out that girls butt ?
Piper: Oh God, this is starting to get weird.
Phoebe: It's starting to get weird ? Where ya been ?

Manny/Prue: I don't know. I was trying to use it and it wouldn't work. And then I felt like I was.. huh.
Phoebe: Impotent ?
Manny/Prue: You know, a little advice about men, Phoebe. When we fail at something, generally we don't like to hear that we're..
Phoebe: Impotent ?
Manny/Prue: Yeah !

Manny/Prue: Well, we gotta be missing something. You two keep looking. I gotta go take a leak.
Piper & Phoebe: Don't forget to put the seat down !
Manny/Prue: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2.06 - "That Old Black Magic "

Phoebe: Tuatha ? Who wouldn't go bad with a name like that ?

Prue: Okay, time out. Attic anyone ?

Kyle: So, you guys kick some butt or what ?
Phoebe: Or what.

Phoebe: Well, I did find one spell but it requires a human heart and unfortunately we're all still using ours.
Piper: Well, take mine. All it does is get me in trouble anyway.
Leo: Snake !
Piper: Oh, I'm the snake, but you're the one whoÖ.
Leo: Snake ! ( Piper sees the snake and runs to the other side of the room )

Phoebe: Okay, this is the potion to induce sleep, this one is to repel an evil threat and that one puts out a fire.
Prue: What kind of potion does that ?
Phoebe: None. That's water. I didn't have a lot of time, it was the best that I could do, okay ?

Phoebe: Well, for what it's worth. I think Jack is pretty cute.
Prue: Yeah, well, he's a jerk. How do I look ?
Phoebe: Fab.

2.07 - "They're Everywhere "

Prue: Wait, you have to know if there's a warlock test.
Piper: Me ? How would I know ?
Prue: I mean, well, you are a warlock magnet.
Piper: Am I never going to live Jeremy down ? You know, you had that Rex and Hannah thing at work.
Prue: Okay, fine. You got them in your love life, I got them at the water cooler.

Piper: ( thinking ) Yeah, next time get your own damn lipstick.
Prue: ( thinking ) I heard that.
Piper: ( thinking ) I love you.
Prue: ( thinking ) Bite me.

Prue: ( thinking ) We have to go kill a warlock while she gets to sit on some guysÖ.
Phoebe: Hey, hey, hey.
Prue: You heard that ?
Phoebe: Like I need a hearing thoughts spell to know what you're thinking.

Prue: Do we have to protect him ?
Piper: He's pissing me off.

Eric: Are you sure you're no angel ?
Phoebe: No, I'm no angel. I could probably introduce you to one though.

Phoebe: ( thinking ) What if we're to late ?
Piper: Phoebe, stop thinking that.
Phoebe: Will you get out of my mind please.

Prue: You don't recognize Eric ?
Phoebe: No. Why ? Should I ? Should I ?
Piper: What's the last thing you remember ?
Phoebe: The Halloween party.
Piper: That was three weeks ago.
Phoebe: Oh.

Phoebe: Hi. ( holding a bunch of flowers )
Prue: Hi. Ah, theyíre gorgeous.
Phoebe: They're for you. The florist left them on the porch but there's no card.
Prue: They're huge.
Piper: They're expensive.
Prue: They're ringing.

Jack: I just, I wanted to apologize. Can I take you for dinner ?
Prue: I don't think so.
Jack: Come on. Let me buy you a drink.
Prue: I don't think so.
Jack: Well, can I at least get my phone back ?
Prue: I don't think so.

2.08 - "P3H20 "

Piper: Oh, that's um, that's probably Dan.
Prue: You know, he does live like twenty feet away. I mean, you guys could get walkie talkies, two cans a string.
Piper: Point taken, mum.

Prue: Okay, I saw something or someone drown and it was anything but natural.
Piper: On the freeway ?
Prue: No, up at the lake.

Prue: Hello, this is Prue.
Jack: Hey. How's my favorite auctionette ?
Prue: Fine, how's my favorite auction-ass ?
Jack: Ooh, nice one.

Phoebe: Sam ? Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting demons.

Phoebe: Okay, now remember kids, on your way to bed. Water bad, land good, water bad, land good.

2.09 - "Ms. Hellfire "

Phoebe: Hi. Do you recognize that person ?
Prue: I don't know, she looks vaguely familiar. Kind of like a sister we used to have. What was here name ? Pi.. P..
Phoebe: Pi.. Pippy ?
Prue: Pipper ?
Phoebe: Whatever happened to her ?
Prue: I don't know. She fell in lust with the next door neighbor, started spending all of her time there.

Phoebe: Since when do demons use bullets ?
Piper: Maybe it's not a demon.
Prue: Who else would want to kill us ?
Phoebe: Well, you know, you were a little short to the mailman yesterday, we all know how testy they can be.

Piper: Freeze.
Phoebe: Kick.
Prue: Send flying.
Piper: Okay.

Prue: A hit woman. Someone obviously hired her. Someone who knew that we have powers. I mean look.
Piper: Prue ? telekinesis, Piper ? power to freeze, Phoebe ? negligible.
Phoebe: What ? Negligible ?

Dan: I want you to move in with me.
Piper: Huh ?
Dan: At least until the permanent windows are installed. If it's your sisters you're worried about, they can move in too. Since Jenny moved back with her folks there's just plenty of room.
Piper: Oh, I don't know if that's such a great idea. Some of us don't wear pajamas.

Phoebe: Marcy, please.
Marcy: (singing) Save our sister moon with your protective beans.
Piper: Oh, please stop.
Marcy: (singing) Give all who dwell within this spell, save days and sweet dreams.
Piper: Okay, that's all folks. (she freezes Marcy)
Phoebe: Who knew perky could be so annoying.
Piper: How long do you think I can keep her like this ?
Phoebe: Your power, your call.

Phoebe: Come on in. Thanks for coming so fast. We need you to baby-sit.
Darryl: Is this one breathing ?
Phoebe: Yes, this one is breathing.

2.10  "Heartbreak City "

Piper: You know what happens when they cancel.
Prue: Ooh,  back to square one.
Piper: Do not pass go.
Phoebe: And all accrued nookie credits are thrown out.
Jack: There's a penalty ?
Prue, Piper & Phoebe: Oh yeah !

Prue: So we're actually supposed to believe you're Cupid ?
Cupid: So you guys can believe in warlocks and demons but you can't believe in me ?
Piper: Where's the chubby baby ?
Phoebe: Guys.
Prue: And the bow and arrow ?
Cupid: Where's the warty chins, hooked noses and pointy hats ?

Piper: You're still gonna have to back up the Cupid claim.
Cupid: Okay, fine. (to Piper) Dan. (to Prue) Jack. (to Phoebe) Clay. (to Prue) Andy, my sincerest condolences. Eric in London, Allen in college. (to Piper) Not Jeremy the warlock, Joe in college, Tim in eight grade. (to Phoebe) Ken, Kyle, Steve, Mike, Ken again, Brian, Joel, Martin, Peter, Paul, Tony.
Phoebe: Okay, you know I didn't love all those guys, right ?

Prue: Oh, Piper, everybody has secrets. Including Jack and Dan.
Piper: Yeah, well unless they're transvestite, Nazi war criminals with great face-lifts, than I think we've got them beat.

Prue: Jack's scum.
Piper : So's Dan.
Prue : Are you scum ?
Piper: No, I'm not scum.
Prue: I knew you weren't.

Piper: Okay, so much for loving him to death. What do we do with him now ?
Phoebe: Same thing, only different.
Prue: Been there, blew that.

2.11 - "Reckless Abandon "

Piper: Uh, you know, I'm not really good with these things.
Phoebe: They're called babies.

Piper: Oh, no. He's like a car alarm. The smallest vibration just sets him off and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
Phoebe: She's got baby issues.
Prue: Mmm, I know.

Prue: Yeah, just think of it as a test run.
Piper: I don't need a test run. I remember when Phoebe was a baby and it was hard on mum and endless and with you dropping her all the time.
Phoebe: What ?
Prue: Oh, moving on.

Dan: Well, your timing's perfect. Cousin Matthew needs to change.
Prue: Okay. Alright, there we go. Oh !
Piper: Ooh, that's ripe.
Prue: What does this kid live on ? Wheat grass ?

Piper: Wow, you're like MacGyver with estrogen.

Piper: Uh, shovels ? I thought we were vanquishing Lundy with the potion. What do we need shovels for ?
Phoebe: Because the only way it works is if you spread it over his bones, which happen to be buried.
Piper: We have to dig him up ?
Phoebe: I'm afraid so.
Piper: Is that it ? Or is there some other disgusting detail you're just waiting to spring on me ?

2.12 "Awakened "

Piper: Oh, I am so glad to see you.
Phoebe: Is that because I am now "Phoebe Halliwell, college student".

Prue: This scares me.

Dr. Williamson: Either Piper pulls out of the coma on her own or I'm afraid your sister isn't going to survive.

Dan: She just looks like she's sleeping, but I can't wake her up.

Piper: Then can I go, because no offense but I hate hospitals.

Piper: to Dan - And I know that you have been up for almost 24 hours by my side. I can't tell you how much that means to me, being there for me.

(Piper speeding around room)
Phoebe:I think I found a consequence.

Phoebe (about Dr. Williamson):Well, his bedside manners could use some work.
Leo to Piper: I don't want to lose you.
Jack: Are you out of your mind.
Prue: I don't know, maybe.
Leo: Now that I'm a mortal I'm gonna fight for you. May the best man win.

2.13 "Animal Pragmatism "

Prue: Oh, we so have to cancel your Martha Stewart subscription.
Piper: When I start making flower boxes out of milk cartons, then you can shoot me.

Phoebe: Okay, guess what I saw on Pheeb TV ?
Piper: No, not a premonition. It's Valentines Day. Can't there be some kind of supernatural day off ?

Piper: Why don't they make a card that says "You used to be my whitelighter and now you're wings are clipped and you're sleeping in my club.
Phoebe: Or how about "You snooze you lose and now I'm getting naked with the neighbor ". (Piper hits her) Ow, hey.

Piper: Thank you. Oh, no "To the special person who lights up my day. I'll treasure you always".
Phoebe: Ohh, of course.
Piper: And then I'll spit up on myself.

Piper: You are sweet. (she picks up the bottle of champagne) Piper Red Label ?
Dan: Well, with a name like that, I figured it would be the best. I mean, this is our first holiday. Granted, the holiday invented by Hallmark. But it's just the same.

Piper: Oh. Why do we seem to have a habit of gathering our men at the scene of a supernatural smack down ?
Phoebe: It's part of our charm.

2.14  "Pardon My Past "

Piper: That's very sweet Dan, but um, trust me. You don't have to worry about Leo at all. He's an angel.

Phoebe: We were all related. Cousins. And we lived here at the manor back in the twenties.
Piper: Together ? Here ? So much for evolution.

Piper: Her lover ? Who was that ?
Leo: It was me.
Piper: WhÖ..
Leo: Or rather, past me.
Piper: Him ?

Piper: Hold it. Wait a minute. You knew that we were lovers before and you didn't tell me ? What did it just slip your mind ?
Leo: No. I justÖ..
Piper: You just what ? I'm getting a migraine.

Phoebe: Uh, I'm not who you think I am. I'm a different me. A me from another lifetime where we've evolved into sisters. Good sisters. Happy sisters.
Past Piper: Must have cut off too much blood to her brain.
Past Prue: Must have.

2. 15 "Give Me A Sign"

Phoebe: Twenty eight minutes, thirty three seconds.
Piper: Really, we ran that long?
Phoebe: No, I've been timing how long you've been comparing Leo and Dan.

Piper: Don't act blonde, Phoebe. You cast a spell, didn't you?

Piper: Oh my god.
Prue: Uh, what are you guys doing here?
Phoebe: We're rescuing you... from the tall dark and naked man.
Prue: I told you to stay away.
Phoebe: Yeah, now I know why. He is yummy.
Piper: I don't believe this. We've been frantic, worried sick about you, thinking you've been kidnapped...
Prue: Yeah, I was.
Piper: (pointing over to the corner) Panties...
Prue: Huh, thanks. Look uh, you guys have really got this all, um, wrong.
Piper: Yeah, we know. It's a trap.
Phoebe: A tall dark and naked trap.

Piper: First I'd like to tell you how relieved I am you're okay.
Phoebe: Me too.
Piper: And second I'd like to tell you that you have completely lost your mind.
Phoebe: Completely lost your mind!

Prue: Thank you for saving my life.
Bane: Thank you for changing mine.

2.16 "Murphy's Luck "

Phoebe: You're thinking too much again. Stop trying to predict the future, alright. That's my job. Just follow your heart, honey. Good things will happen.
Piper: What would I do without you ?
Phoebe: Oh, suffer endlessly, no doubt.

2.17 "How To Make A Quilt Out Of Americans"

Phoebe: Piper, what are you doing? Those are your favorite boots.
Piper: I know. Demon blood from one of our vanquishings. And I can't get it out and I can't exactly explain it to the shoe repair guy now can I? It's the third damn pair this month!

Piper: Sometimes being a witch sucks!

Prue: Aunt Gail's in town and guess what? She knows we're you know whats.
Piper: Whoa, hi, I'm not alone here, remember?

Prue: Have you contacted the police yet?
Aunt Gail: And tell them what, that I think there's a demon running loose in our streets? They'd think I was crazy.
Piper: Try getting your boots cleaned.

Piper: It's just. It's-It's never ending. I mean we have no lives. I-I don't even have time to break up with Dan properly.

Prue: Phoebe, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing glasses. I mean I wear them.
Phoebe: I know but you're older. Well you are.
Prue: Right. Well you know, I really hope the demon of vanity isn't after you because your soul would be toast.

Piper: I mean nothing's changed really since Leo and I met, except that I'm two years old and still have no idea what we're doing. Sometimes I worry we're all gonna end up like Aunt Gail.

Phoebe: We're all set. All words. No squigglies.

Prue: It stinks.
Piper: This is what I'm saying

Phoebe: I hope that didn't happen from drinking the tea.

Prue: What's the matter?
Piper: I-I don't know. But I-I can't freeze the rat thing!

Phoebe: Besides, do you have a better idea?
Piper: Go home and call it a day?
Prue: Funny. Come on.

Phoebe: Wait a minute.
Piper: Tell me those aren't the same guys you asked for directions.
Prue: Uh, okay Cryto's close. Let's drive.

Prue: All right Phoebe's thinking what we're thinking.
Piper: Great. What are we thinking?

Phoebe: Piper, come on.
Prue: Piper, what's the matter?
Piper: I've had it.
Phoebe: What do you mean you've had it? You've had it with what?
Piper: With being a witch.
Prue: Oh.

Piper: I just-I want a life that doesn't have a lot of death in it. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Piper: Phoebe I love you. You're one of my two most favorite sisters. But I don't want to give up having a life.

Phoebe: Just help us get our powers back. Please? We can't do it without you.
Prue: We won't do it without you.

Piper: All right. I'm only doing this for you guys. And if I get killed I'm gonna haunt the both of you-forever.

Phoebe: Pretty nifty power, huh?

Piper: Wanna see what does freeze?

Phoebe: Well I'm always gonna want to be a witch, that's for sure.
Prue: She's young.

2.18 "Chick Flick"

Piper: I know I just feel like Dan got the short end of the stick.
Prue: There are so many ways that I can go with that but I think I'll justÖ
Piper: Thank you.

Phoebe: Did I mention that Billy was the perfect man?
Prue: Once or twice.

Prue: Yeah, well, the house is a mess again. I mean how come we can't fight the demon of cleanliness or the demon of housekeeping or even that really big bald guy, Mr. Clean? I would so totally take him on.

Piper: How's the date so far?
Leo: Uh, it just got better.
Piper: You can do your homework, pick the right restaurant, the perfect wine waiting and chilled, but it helps if you show up.

Piper: Hi Dan, and Dan's date.
Dan: Amelia this is LeoÖ and Piper.
Piper: Amelia, as in someone I just work with Amelia?
Dan: Um, here's your salt.
Piper: Thanks!

Piper: I just wanted tonight to be perfect.
Leo: It was. I was with you.

Piper: Check!

Finley: So when is this photographer blessing us with his presence?
Prue: That would be me.
Finley: You're twelve.
Prue: Oh, I'm good.

Phoebe: Would someone please tell me what is up with guys?
Piper: You don't really expect me to have an answer for that, do you?

Phoebe: Here I am talking about the shortage of perfect men and in orbs yours.

Finley: Don't mind me. I'm just wandering through your house.

Billy: I think you're swell, Phoebe.

Piper: It wasn't much of a date last night. Wanna find a couple seats in the back and make out before demon hunting?

Piper: Okay, well I'm okay. You're okay. Magic perk.

Piper: Okay, uh that didn't work. But my legs still do. Okay, let's go.

Phoebe: Hello, privacy!
Prue: Hello, ax murderer!

Prue: Oh that was an antique you assh-!
Phoebe: He's very sensitive about the language.

Piper: Okay-dead woman with a knife on her way. Leo stayed behind to calm down the- Where is everybody?

Piper: I'm being stalked by psycho killers and I hide in the shower?!

Phoebe: So maybe this is the only way that the psychos know how to die is how they were killed on screen.
Piper: Well how am I supposed to know that? I'm a romantic comedy girl. Why go to the horror movies when they come to us?

Piper: Does anyone else get tired of cleaning up after these g-guys?

Billy: It's okay. The man is here to save the day.
Prue: Billy, it's the twenty first century. It's the woman's job to save the day.

Piper: Hi, serious face. It's okay. We're too tired for pleasantries. Just tell us.

Phoebe: Check me out, I'm retro.

Piper: Prue, I don't know what else we can do.
Demon of Illusion: And you're supposed to be the perky one.

Prue: You can love the work but not the man.
Piper: What if you love them both?

2.19 "Ex Libris "

Phoebe: It's 8:00, it's 8:00. I'm late for my finals.
Piper: Phoebe, whoa, relax, it's Thursday. Your finals are tomorrow.
Phoebe: It's Thursday ?
Piper: Yes.
Phoebe: Today is Thursday. You sure ? Okay, that's really good news.

Piper: Dan and Leo. I found them in here beating the crap out of each other and neither one of them will tell me why.
Phoebe: Oh. Well, I hate to top that but I am dealing with a ghost who doesn't know she's a ghost. She thinks she's still alive.
Piper: Eww.
Phoebe: So I went back to the library and I saw her ghost you know, and I tried to tell her, but I just couldn't.
Piper: You're right, yours tops mine.

Piper: Leave it to me to fall in love with an angel who happens to be married.

Prue: Hey. Oh, good, I was looking for that. Wait, what are you doing with the book ?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm looking for the demon that's gonna kill me. I just love getting those premonitions.
Prue: Oh, okay, what premonition ? When ?
Phoebe: About an hour ago. Right after I was trying to tell Charlene that she's dead.
Prue: I'm lost.
Phoebe: Oh, sorry, wrong sister.

Prue: Your friend obviously ?
Phoebe: Yeah, the dead one.

Piper: Where are we going ?
Phoebe: We'll explain on the way there.
Piper: Who's that ?
Phoebe: Let's go, let's go. That's my dead friend.

2.20 "Astral Monkey "

Leo: Ever done it on a cloud ?
Phoebe: I don't know, does a feather bed count ?
Leo: Uh, Phoebe. I thought you were Piper.
Phoebe: Well, it is here room.
Leo: I am so sorry.
Phoebe: No, no, worries. I mean it could happen to anyone. Especially someone that doesn't have to knock to come in.

Phoebe: So are you gonna tell me why he sent you flowers ?
Prue: You know, I just have no idea.
Phoebe: And they say the youngest is the most naïve.

Piper: Prue, you're back early.
Prue: Yes, I am, that's because a monkey astral projected to me on the set today.
Phoebe: A monkey ?
Piper: Astral projected ?
Prue: Yeah, and, and it waved at me, okay, like it knew me or something. I think it wanted my help.
Phoebe: I think you're working way too hard.

Prue: B.O.S.
Phoebe : B.O.S. ? Oh, Book of Shadows, Book of Shadows.

Phoebe: There are more coming. (to the monkey) I'll be right there. More are coming.
Prue: Do you think they saw anything ?
Piper: Yeah, like stolen monkeys ?
Phoebe: Who knows but at least they didn't see any magic. (Leo orbs in) Never mind.

Leo: You okay ?
Piper: Well, considering our powers have combined to drive a man crazy, and put who knows how many other people in danger, I'm terrific.

2.21 "Apocalypse, Not "

Phoebe: Not only did I stay awake but I actually enjoyed it. Which is why I bought this book. It's filled with really deep profound questions, would actually make a good bar game at P3.
Piper: Oh, great, solve the problems of the world while doing Jell-O shots.

Phoebe: What just happened ?
Piper: I think we just vanquished our sister.

Leo: You know, it's bad enough working with them but did you have to bring them here ?
Piper: To the manor where we're the strongest and the safest or maybe we should've gone to their place not that they offered.
Leo: And why not ? Hmm ? Why give up home field advantage unless you're hiding something.
Piper: Of course they're hiding something, they're evil.

Strife: Perhaps it was the combination of our chants that opened this vortex.
Phoebe: What language were you chanting in ?
Strife: Actually it's a dead language that we sometimes use for ceremonial purposes.
Piper: How festive.

2.22 "Be Careful What You Witch For "

Piper: Nothing in our lives is random anymore.
Phoebe: You know, we keep saying that but what does it really mean ? Is there some kind of cosmic order to all this ? Are we on some kind of list ? And if so, how many points are we worth ?

Piper: So what am I gonna tell him ? The last time I saw him he handed me proof you were killed in 1942. He's gonna expect a reaction from me.
Phoebe: How about "Hey Dan, you're right, I am a necrophilliac"
Piper: Phoebe.
Phoebe: Ow ! Why does everybody always Phoebe me ?

Phoebe: I don't get it. You've been stuck in that bottle for 200 years, someone finally sends you to us and you have no idea who licked the stamp ? I kinda find that hard to believe.
Prue: What, and a genie man standing in our living room wearing that, offering to grant us each a wish isn't ?

Genie: Look, uh, you're probably a little bit upset, huh ?
Piper: No, I've moved past upset and right to pissed off. You tricked us and now there's a warlock that's trying to turn us into witch kebabs.

Leo: What do you mean ?
Piper: I mean, I'm going with you, Leo. I'd like to meet ëthemí.
Leo: Are you sure ?
Piper: Positive. Take me to your leader.