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Season Three
Quotes
3.01 "The Honeymoon's Over"
Phoebe: Wait, didnít the book say
they were just like vampires?
Prue: I might have misread that
part.
Phoebe: Iím sorry!?
Phoebe: Ok, If Piper ever comes back, Iím going to kill her.
Cole: Ladies, my name is Cole Turner.
Iím the Assistant district attorney assigned to this case, so I was wondering
if either of you saw what happened here.
Phoebe: (raising hand) I did!
Phoebe: Nervous?
Prue: Oh, you know witches and
trials. Itís that whole Salem thing.
Phoebe: All I know is..Cole is an
angel. He was awesome in that courtroom yesterday.
Prue: See something you like, sis?
Phoebe: Maybe. Or maybe itís just
nice to run into someone whoís not a college boy. Yíknow, more years, less
hormones.
Prue: Not a bad butt, either.
Cole: Nice calf.
Phoebe: Oh, thanks. Can I
have it back?
Piper: Whoís Cole? What did you
do to your hair?
Phoebe: Iím sorry, do I know you?
Cole: Help me find out what
it is Iím missing here.
Darryl: What youíre missing is
a suspect. Now if you let me do my job, maybe I can help you find himÖ.again.
Leo: Piper!
Piper: Leo, who you talking to?
Leo: Me? Nobody, just myself.
Piper: Yourself? You were
telling yourself how much you love you?
Leo: Piper, I told you I thought
this whole thing through.
Piper: Uh huh, is that why you
asked me to marry you in a toilet?
Prue: Are you ready?
Piper: No
Prue: Yeah, you're ready
Piper: No, no.
Cole: What happened?
Phoebe: Arenít you getting tired
of asking me that?
Phoebe: Something good happened.
Canít you just accept that?
Cole: Itís not in my nature.
Phoebe: You got the Barenaked ladies,
how?
Piper: Actually, I just made a
couple phone calls
Phoebe: And I canít even get Barry
Manilow on the phone.
3.02 "Magic Hour"
Prue: She's gonna choose you.
Phoebe: Is not
Prue: You get to hang out with
her a lot more.
Phoebe: You've known her longer,
there was that whole bonding time before I was even born.
Prue: Ok, she was 1, and I was
3. What did we bond over, diapers and drooling?
Phoebe: Leooooo!!
Leo: Shhh!
Phoebe: (whispering) Leoooooo!
Prue: I hate to be the detail police, but how are we going to hide it from them when we are on their supernatural redial?
Prue: Yeah, well rules were meant
to be broken.
Phoebe: But bodies weren't.
Piper: And neither were hearts.
Phoebe: If I had a dollar for everytime
I saw an owl turn into a hot guy on our porch, I'd be Ö
Piper: We've seen worse.
Phoebe: I don't get it. If our ancient compilations of spells, witchcrafts, and rituals cant help us, what makes you think Martha Stewart can?
Phoebe: Assistant district attorney,
we have to stop meeting like this.
Cole: You better be careful, a
guy might think he's being followed.
Piper: You better be careful, or
a girl might think her sister's getting a really cheesy pick up line.
Cole: Well, I should probably get
going. I've sort of got plans to bump into another eyewitness over at the
gas-n-sip.
Phoebe: Cute
Cole: I get cuter
Prue: I hope you guys had better
luck than I did.
Piper: Not really. I ended up with
the wrong books, and uh-well Phoebe almost got lucky right there in the
store.
Phoebe: Ha Ha
Phoebe: I think that this looks
like the place, sort of.
Piper: That's funny, I remember
it looking like the right place, sorta, 3 hours ago.
Phoebe: Hey, if you wanted a supernatural
low jack, you came to the wrong witch.
Piper: I swear to God, I've seen this in a movie somewhere.
Phoebe: Anything, anything. I curse you, you curse me. Let's get together, and do a little cursing.
Phoebe: Wait a minute. If you know,
that means they know. And if they know, then we are f..
Grams: FINE
Phoebe: I mean, look at what happened to mom and her.. special friend.
Grams: The charmed ones are destined
for greatness, but that fact doesn't keep a girl warm on a cold winters
night.
Phoebe: So add a blanket. Grams,
I can't believe you're saying this.
Grams: I'm saying what I know.
I remember the loneliness all too well.
Phoebe: You were married 4 times.
Cole: 1329 Prescott Street. On the
receipt. In the bag. It was there. That sounded much better in my
head.
Phoebe: They gave you our books,
and you thought you'd drop them by.
Cole: That wasn't so hard when
you said it.
Phoebe: So, you going back to the
office?
Cole: Justice must be served, right?
Phoebe: Oh, tell me about it.
Cole: Whitelighters always were
messy.
Piper: Nice try Pheebs, but the distraction techniques stopped working in 3rd grade.
Phoebe: Anyone got a vanquish in their pocket?
Triad: Others have failed.
Cole: Others weren't me.
3.03 "Once Upon A Time"
Piper: Leo's not coming back.
Prue: Honey, it was just a bad
dream.
Piper: No, it wasn't, it was real.
I don't understand, why are they doing this to us. It's like destroying
lives is how they amuse themselves.
Prue: Piper, watch what you say.
Piper: Why ? What are they gonna
do to me ? They couldn't hurt me more then they already have.
Prue: Hey, did you find out anything
more from her ?
Phoebe: Name rank and serial number.
Phoebe: Uh, keys ?
Prue: What ?
Phoebe: You know, silver shiny
things that go jingle, jingle.
Piper: Come on Phoebe, trolls and
fairies ? You don't believe that stuff.
Phoebe: Sure, why not ?
Piper: Well, maybe it's time we
tell her about Santa.
Piper: If they were, you would've
seen what had clawed her ? Why are you being so stubborn about this ?
Phoebe: Because I'm a Scorpio.
What's your excuse ?
Prue: Okay, so it's kind of late
and, um, we're all a bit tired, so how about we finish this up tomorrow
?
Phoebe: Now look what you did.
You went and turned Prue into the middle child.
Phoebe: I know. But you know what ? I'm gonna check the Book of Shadows just in case. ëCause I don't wanna be out stubborned by a Gemini.
Phoebe: Did you not look at those
drawings ?
Piper: They're cute, yes.
Phoebe: Cute ? Cute ? We all had
the same invisible fairy friend, Piper. That is proof that fairies exist.
Piper: Or it proofs that one of
us had a really fertile imagination and the other two were really good
copycats.
Piper: That means that the "powers
that be" haven't done anything but ruin my life so there for I'm not gonna
do anything for them anymore, okay ? I'm going now, excuse me, I'm going
now.
Phoebe: I think she's on strike.
Piper: Okay, what ass backward spell
did you guys cast ?
Prue: We.. we.. we didn't cast
a spell.
Phoebe: No, it's true, we did not
cast a spell but we did use fairy dust.
Piper: Fairy dust ?
Phoebe: Yep.
Piper: Okay, great, so you can
go home now and reverse it, Tinkerbell.
Phoebe: Geez Louise, there are to many doorways in this house.
Cole: Um.. Itís a long drive home.
Do you think I could use your restroom ?
Phoebe: Number 1 or number 2 ?
Prue: He has to go tootie.
Cole: Excuse me?
Phoebe : Trolls.
Prue : Let's go get ëem
Prue/Phoebe: Hiiyahh !
Phoebe: Pwue, that was a very,
very big troll.
Prue: That wasn't a troll, that
was a demon.
Prue: Sober. Stairs can be sobering.
Phoebe: Right. Okay, um, I'm really
sorry about our plans there, Cole, I really am.
Cole: No worries. I'll keep trying.
Phoebe: Stairs can be sobering
?
Prue: Okay, what was I supposed
to say ? That some unknown demon came in to try and steal our magic book
and than little trolls came and pushed us down the stairs ?
Phoebe: Right, okay.
Phoebe: Very funny. Look, we need
you to come home right away, by midnight or elseÖ..
Piper: The tooth fairy's gonna
come and harass us all for not flossing ?
Phoebe: Ow.
Piper: Yep.
Prue: Ice ?
Phoebe: Bed.
Phoebe: Are you worried ?
Prue: When are you going to learn
? I am always worried.
3.04 "All Halliwells Eve "
Piper: Right, which is why you're
dressed as the mistress of the dark.
Phoebe: This costume happens to
be a protest statement.
Prue: I am so impressed that you
can make a protest statement and show cleavage all at the same time.
Phoebe: Thanks.
Piper: Nice costume.
Darryl: Yeah, it's from my rookie
days. Still fits.
Leo: Yeah, mine too.
Darryl: You're not from World War
2 ? Who are you ?
Phoebe: Oh, you had to ask.
Piper: Not good, not good, not
good. Flee ! We're not in Kansas anymore.
Piper: Don't tell me we've time
traveled again ? I hate time traveling.
Phoebe: You do ? I was burned at
the stake last time, remember ?
Prue: All right, lets try and make
sure that doesn't happen again. From what they're wearing it Looks to be,
what 16-1700ís ?
Phoebe: Where the life expectancy
of the average witch is, what fifteen minute ?
Prue: Alright, wait, uh, who do
you think we are ?
Eva: The most powerful good witches
of all time, of course.
Phoebe: Okay, lucky guess.
Prue: Okay, um, excuse us for a
minute. Talk. Alright, I think that I have this figured out. I think that
"they" sent us here and that's what Leo was trying to tell us.
Piper: Oh, leave it to them to
zap first and give instructions never.
Micah: And what beautiful necks
they are. I'm Micah.
Prue: I'm charmed.
Prue: Who was that masked man ?
Phoebe: Okay, you finally found
a real man. To bad he lives in colonial Virginia, Prue.
Piper: Who's gonna deliver the baby
?
Phoebe: Personally, I think you
should considering we know that you're gonna have one in the future.
Prue: I second that.
Piper: Wait a minute.
Prue: Go, bye.
Piper: I always get the messy jobs.
Prue: Hey, haven't I vanquished you somewhere before ?
Piper: And I helped to deliver our great, great, great, great, whatever, great grandmother.
3.05 "Sight Unseen"
Phoebe: If Cole and I continue this flirting tango thing, I'm going to have to start concentrating on myself.
Prue: Oh! Oh! Sean.. Just give him
a drink.
Piper: If we give him anymore,
we're gonna have to send him to an AA meeting.
Prue: How longís he been there?
Piper: Iíd say about an hour, and
327 peanuts.
Piper: It's eerie knowing someone
went through every room in the house, smashing mirrors, touching who knows
what.
Phoebe: fondling who knows what.
Prue: How do you know it wasn't
a demon?
Phoebe: Mmm, demons don't usually
fondle.
Darryl: Abraxis, barba, yamaÖ.What did you do? Date the united nations?
Piper: Do you think it was a human
bad guy?
Darryl: Any other house, yeah.
Around here, ya never know.
Darryl: Your whole attitude about
security baffles me. You have no, no alarm system, no deadbolt, no dog.
Prue: Darryl, we're 3 witches.
I think we can handle it.
Triad #1: We did not expect it to
take this long.
Cole: You've had 2 years by their
time without success, I've had a month.
Triad #2: A month with 2 years
worth of information. Information collected by the blood of demons
before you.
Cole: You guys alright?
Phoebe: You came all the way over
here for me? For we? For us?
Prue: That's alright, actually I
think that we can handle it.
Cole: No you can't. I mean you
have no idea what kind of evil you're dealing with here.
Prue: Yeah, well I was up in the
attic, and when I woke up, there was a pillow hovering above my face about
to smother me.
Piper: A pillow?
Phoebe: Hovering? Well that
must be the infamous pillow smothering demon.
Cole: You don't scare me Troxa,
you never did.
Troxa: And you don't know how to
defeat me Belthazor, you never could.
Phoebe: Prue, this is important.
Maybe the guy who broke into the house took them.
Prue: Yeah, or maybe it was a demon
who took them for some weird ritualistic ceremony.
Phoebe: Would that be the pillow smothering demon or the lock picking demon?
Piper: What is this?
Prue: A way to always be prepared.
Phoebe: These are very big contraceptives,
Prue.
Prue: They're sneakers, alright.
You know we are always wearing inappropriate footwear when demons attack.
Now we will be prepared. Keep them with you at all times.
Phoebe: I am gonna be so fast in
these.
Cole: I did some research Troxa.
I found your Achilles heel. Cold is very revealing for you, although
worse since you cant feel, you don't even know when it's cold.
Troxa: First them, then you!
Phoebe: I'm bummed for you piper,
I really am, but I gotta tell you. Leo is looking fine!
Piper: I thought you said you didn't
see anything.
Phoebe: Well, nothing good.
Phoebe: Here's my stalker list.
It's mostly guys I knew when I was in new york.
Piper: Wow. You were busy in new
york.
Phoebe: yeah
Phoebe: What happened to there's
a demon on my ass Prue?
Prue: Well, um I set a trap.
Piper: a trap?
Prue: we are gonna catch this demon,
and instead of vanquishing him like we usually do, we're gonna make him
talk about the triad.
Phoebe: So, is this like a bear
trap? With big claws?
Piper: this is not good
Phoebe: no, if she keeps this up
we're gonna have to do a demon intervention.
Piper: Cole?!
Phoebe: What?
Prue: Wait. It could be dangerous.
Phoebe: For god's sake Prue, He
looks really hurt.
Prue: Phoebe, It's a trap for demons.
You do the math.
Cole: Do you know that your trap
is the equivalent of having a loaded shotgun with a trip wire behind your
front door? That's illegal! I'm an ADA, an officer of the court. I could
have you arrested.
Phoebe: How could you? How far are
you gonna let this obsession go, prue?
Prue: phoebe, listen.
Phoebe: No! I'm not gonna listen
prue. You didn't nearly catch a demon, you nearly killed a district
attorney. MY district attorney.
Phoebe: You're right. He's a plant. He's trying to get close to me, so he can kill us. Now is everyone a demon, prue? You are crazy right now.
Prue: Piper, my instincts are almost
always right. I have to trust them.
Piper: You have to trust them,
and I'm not saying you shouldn't. But Prue, there are other evils
in the world, and some of them are even human.
Piper: Oh, honey. That's sweet, but not tonight. We ALL have headaches.
Piper: Everything's ok. Everything's
gonna be great, as soon as I fire her!!
Phoebe: So, still friends?
Cole: I hope we're more than
that.
Phoebe: Do you? Prove it!
3.06 "Primrose Empath"
Leo: I..I just can't believe you
introduced me as a friend.
Piper: Okay, social malfunction.
I hadn't seen the woman in years. I'm sorry.
Leo: I lost my wings for you, I've
hurled my body into the path of oncoming demons, you wanted heaven, I took
you there literally. I'm more than a friend.
Prue: No, no, no, I'll get the book
alone. Your guysí couple issues.
Piper: Wait, we have couple issues
?
Prue: Resentment, denial. Be nice.
Piper: Phoebe, where were you when
I called ?
Phoebe: Cole's.
Piper: You could've changed. All
night ?
Phoebe: Mmhmm.
Piper: Did youÖ.?
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Piper: Was heÖ.?
Phoebe: Uh huh !
Leo: Okay, can we talk about this
later ?
Nurse: And who are you here to visit
?
Phoebe: Um, we came to visit our
father.
Nurse: What's his name ?
Phoebe: Dad ?
Prue: Hey.
Piper: Hey.
Prue: You know, I can not wait
for this Novocain to wear off. Can you unfreeze my tongue ?
3.07 "Power Outage"
Prue: The next time he shows up,
we can get some demon flesh.
Piper: White meat or dark meat?
Cole: I'm sorry but we have to stop seeing each other, ok? Why? Well because, because I gotta kill you, that's why. Smooth.
Phoebe: Hey Leo, do you think you could make yourself look like Brad Pitt?
Piper: Welcome to Prue's world of clutter photography.
Leo: Couldn't you just make something
simpler? Yíknow, chips and dip?
Piper: Leo! I was a chef; I can't
make chips and dip.
Piper: Leo, you obviously do not have sisters. One minute you're arguing about something, and the next minute you're arguing about who stole who's Malibu Barbie in 1979.
Phoebe: He wants to have the talk. Yíknow, are we a couple, are we a one nighter, are we friends, are we friends that had a one-nighter.
Cole: Wait, you actually wore a
penguin costume?
Phoebe: Yes, and I handed out balloons
to kids. I was 15, leave me alone. I needed a job.
Cole: I bet you were cute.
Cole: Phoebe, there's something I have to tell you.. Iím a terrible dancer.
Prue: Where's Phoebe?
Piper: The little witch is not
home yet.
Prue: Whoa. Ok, obviously somebody needs a midol.
Phoebe: Ok, you're married.
Cole: What?
Phoebe: That's the big secret,
you're married. You have 3 kids, 2 dogs, and a really cute cat, right?
And I'm the seven-year itch.
Phoebe: About the other night..
Are you sorry that we... ?
Cole: Not at all, are you?
Phoebe: Depends on what happens
next
Cole: Too bad you can't predict
the future
Phoebe: Who says I can't?
Prue: Well, I see that you inherited
dad's talent for bailing.
Phoebe: That's because the two
of us couldn't stand living with the two of you.
Leo: Let's start with your little
tiff.
Piper: Well little is an understatement,
it was big.
Leo: How big?
Prue: Do you remember Pearl Harbor?
Phoebe: Has the tribal council spoken? Am I booted off the island?
Phoebe: Demon with demon filling?
Piper: I got a slice.
Prue: Mm, yum. The other white
meat.
3.08 "Sleuthing With The Enemy "
Prue: Pigs feet.
Piper: Yech.
Prue: Yech ?
Piper: Yech.
Prue: So you can slice up a chunk
of demon flesh but you can't touch a pigs foot ?
Piper: I'm a vegetarian.
Prue: Since when ?
Piper: Since now.
Piper: Give me a second, lady. Alright,
ready ? (She puts the Belthazor flesh in the pot and it explodes. Piper
falls to the ground.)
Phoebe: Piper !?
Prue: Are you alright ?
Piper: Attack of the killer pigs
feet. Remind me to step back next time.
Prue: Alright, that doesn't make
sense. How did we get the wrong demon ? Hey, do you think that you could
just unfreeze his head, that way we could ask ?
Piper: His head ?
Prue: Yeah, his head.
Piper: Why not ? That's different.
Prue: That's cool.
Krell: Obviously not. Otherwise
I wouldn't have needed to intercept your little calling card, now would
I ?
Piper: Hey, you know what ? How
about next time I just freeze your head and then maybe I could kick you
in theÖ..
Prue: Alright.
Prue: So, Leo, don't mind her, she's
just a little cranky.
Piper: Well, you know what ? I
get that way when demons are trying to kill us.
Prue: Piper, I really don't think
that Krell is trying to kill us, otherwise he probably would have tried
by now.
Piper: Oh yeah ? Tell that to the
dining room table.
Prue: Alright, give us a minute.
Come here. Alright, listen, here's the deal. Belthazor killed the Triad,
now the Source wants him dead. Krell is trying to suck up to the Source
so he wants to kill Belthazor.
Piper: Belthazor wants to kill
us so the Source won't kill him.
Leo: And if you work with Krell
you can vanquish Belthazor before he kills you.
Phoebe: Works for me.
Piper: What are we gonna do ?
Prue: We're gonna vanquish him.
Piper: We're gonna vanquish Phoebe's
boyfriend ? That's gonna cause problems.
Phoebe: Can we stop shimmering all over the place ? I'm gonna vomit.
3.09 "Coyote Piper"
Prue: Alright, I know that it seems
like she's being a little neurotic, but high school was hard for her. Really,
really hard. You know, she was kind of like Jan Brady, the middle sister,
not quite sure where she fits in.
Leo: Jan who?
Piper: Great, I'm going to go to my 10 year reunion and win most likely to scare people away at the door.
Piper: You weren't by any chance
popular in high school were you?
Leo: Well, I wasÖ I mean, is there
a right answer to this question?
Piper: I just, I had this stupid
idea that I'd go back in 10 years and show them, and all I'm gonna show
them is that I'm a big haired freak.
Prue: Alright, you do not look
like a freak. You just, you don't look like yourself.
Piper: Well, if I could go as myself,
I wouldn't be having this problem.
Leo: Wait, so you mean this is
like a costume party?
Prue: Mmm hmm. Who do you think helped Phoebe go blonde?
Leo: What do we do?
Prue: We double team. You help
Phoebe with her demons and I will help Piper with hers.
Man/Terra: Bye now. Well, I've never been a man before. Walking should be interesting.
Piper: I don't know, maybe we should've
gone back to the Betsy Johnson. You know, the cool club chick look as opposed
to the classy club owner look.
Prue: Yeah or we could just wrap
you in a sheet and send you as a Hare Krishna all right? What do you think
about that? Since we already tried everything else.
Prue: Oh, I have one word for you:
halitosis. And he only scored a two.
Piper: Oh, Prue, please don't tell
me you're making lists again.
Prue: Oh, don't worry about him, Leo. He's just a friend from school. Besides, he had a really big crush on me. He used to follow me around like a puppy dog.
Prue: Now just remember, even if you can't tell them that you're a super witch, you can still act like it
Piper: Uh huh. Missy, is that you?
(Missy looks confused.) Piper. Piper Halliwell. Uh, we had chem. together
and Miss Flower for English.
Missy: Right, Piper. You used to
sit in the back of class drawing pictures on your jeans.
Piper: Yes! Yeah, that, yep, that
was me.
Missy: Wow, your skin has really
cleared up. Accutane?
Piper: No, n-no, I guess, you know,
ten years. Is there anything I can do to help or...
Missy: Do you know what would be
great? Can you get this trash out of here?
Prue: You want me to beat them up? ëCause I-I-íll beat them up one-by-one.
Prue: Wow. You only scored a four.
That is just so sad.
Justin: Well, excuse me, but you
only scored a five out of ten on my list.
Prue: Right, so I got an F but,
dude, you got an F-minus.
Justin: Ouch. That's a bad high
school flashback.
Piper/Terra: Okay. (to Missy) Hey!
Bitch! Move the trays yourself.
Prue: Alright, um, that was great,
although the bitch part might have been a little much.
Man: What... what the hell?
Kierkan: The spirit who possessed
you, with whom did she replace you?
Man: What? Oh, god, she stabbed
me.
Woman: Benjamin Coleridge
Turner died in 1888, although there's no date of death for his wife. That's
odd. There should be some record of that.
Phoebe: Um, they had a baby though,
didn't they? I think.
Woman: Yes. A son. Cole Turner.
Born in 1885. Never got to know his father, unfortunately.
Phoebe: Cole Turner. It can't be.
Woman: That's strange. There's
no date of death for him either. Must be another clerical error. I can't
imagine he's alive and kicking at 115.
Phoebe: No. Can't imagine that.
Piper's reflection: My sisters will
figure out what you've done and...
Piper/Terra: And what? What do
you plan to do? Wave to them from the mirror? You're nothing but my reflection
to them.
Piper/Terra: Freeze him? That's good. No, he-he got away and he had this wild hair and these intense bulging eyes and he said he was gonna come back.
Piper's reflection: What the hell kind of demon has a panic attack when her boyfriend comes to visit?
Phoebe: "I could've helped you.
Now she'll destroy you"? It's not exactly cryptic.
Piper/Terra: Said by a demon. Demons
lie. So I say we get rid of the ugly little bottle and get on with our
lives.
Piper/Terra: The only way I know how to get out of a body is a knife to the heart. You don't really want that, do you?
Piper/Terra: Uh, Tom, you scared
me. I didn't hear the door.
Leo: I didn't use the door. Did
you just call me Tom?
Piper/Terra: Did I? Forgive me.
Prue: She's been acting really...
and she left without saying and... and the bottle. She wanted to destroy
it.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm trying to jump
on your thought train here, Prue, but you're moving a little too fast for
me.
Prue: He was looking at her when
he said she would destroy us. She's possessed. Piper is possessed.
Phoebe: Itís a good thing Leo is not here.
Piper/Terra: Or what? What are you going to do, hit me with another rhyming couplet? I'm made from Kierkanís blood, which means I have his powers. Add that to Piper's powers, and I'm stronger than your average essence.
Prue: Hey, hi, she's probably possessed. A little help to the car?
Leo/Terra: That I didn't expect.
Little sibling rivalry I failed to take into account?
Phoebe: Shut up.
Prue: Bring Piper back to life
and I'll let you keep Leo's body. Refuse and I'll put that knife through
his heart and suck you back into the bottle forever.
Leo/Terra: But then your sister
and her boyfriend would be dead. Not the world's smartest plan.
Prue: She's already dead. I have
nothing left to lose.
Leo/Terra: Give me the bottle and
I'll bring her back.
Phoebe: Bring our sister back and
we'll give you the bottle.
Prue: Oh, I'm so sorry that you
missed your reunion.
Phoebe: Put on a good show, though.
Table dancing, cat fight.
Prue: Oh, what, kill you?
Piper: Yeah. Couldn't come up with
a better plan, huh?
Prue: Um, no.
Phoebe: Okay, I guess I'm gonna
call Morris to tell him about... the dead body in the alley.
3.10 "We All Scream For Ice Cream"
Prue: Hi, hey, alright, I need some
professional help.
Phoebe: No arguments here.
Prue: Ha, cute.
Prue: I'm not gonna sing it for
you.
Piper: Why not? Maybe we'll recognize
it.
Prue: Okay. (She hums something.)
Anything?
Piper: Nada.
Phoebe: I'm thinking if you try
it again with a little bit more oomph, you know, maybe some choreography,
and Piper could back you up with some old school beat box?
Prue: Why did I know that I would
not get any help out of you crazy people?
Prue: Okay, if you're gonna go with the "Prue's got parental issues" card, let me save you some time.
Prue: Morning, sunshine. (Phoebe
ignores her)
Prue: Okay, how about, uh, cloudy
with a chance of showers?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, did you say
something?
Piper: Alright, I don't know what
you guys are talking about, but what I've got is better... at least bizarrer.
Prue: Bizarrer?
Piper: Mmm hmm.
Prue: Is that even a word, Piper?
Piper: Whatever. Anyway, Cara called
last night, and she had a meeting in the Bay Tech Building yesterday, and
she swore that she saw Victor walking through the lobby.
Phoebe: As in dad Victor?
Piper: As in "we haven't spoken
to him in a year, and now he's probably in town, and he hasn't even bothered
to call us." Yes, that would be the one. Now you see my need to share?
Piper: Hi. I'm, uh... you don't
really care who I am, do you? I mean, everybody else is on lunch break,
and you're stuck here fielding random questions from people who probably
shouldn't even be asking them in the first place, because...
Receptionist: Can I actually help
you?
Prue: So, they say stick to what
you know. So I pitched a piece about growing up in the city. Hopefully,
it'll make the cover.
Phoebe: You're dodging. Artfully,
but it's still a dodge.
Prue: Right, did you ever consider
that maybe I just don't wanna go?
Phoebe: Okay, riddle solved. Now you can stop humming that stupid song. So I think we were in the middle of you trying to make a strong argument of why you're not gonna go to Justin's barbecue. (Prue continues to stare at the truck.) Prue, if you keep ignoring me, my feelings just might actually implode.
Prue: Yeah, well, something's wrong.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know that. Why
don't you talk to me about it?
Prue: Not with me, Phoebe, with
this, alright? I have a total déjà vu coming on.
Phoebe: Okay, so first you're humming
weird songs, now you're having flashbacks?
Prue: Well, I'm just gonna take a wild guess and say that we're not still in the ice cream truck.
Prue: (to Phoebe) No powers, no
powers, no powers.
Phoebe: I'm not surprised, I'm
not surprised, I'm not surprised.
Piper: Prue, it's me leaving you another message after leaving Phoebe another message. I tried you at work, but they said you never checked in after your shoot, so where are you guys? Uh, look, so call me, or better yet, just show up and save me from having to perform an impending awkward rejection all by myself.
Caleb: You've got sisters? Really?
Well, maybe we could, all, uh, get together sometime. Does your fiancé
like to hang out with your sisters, too?
Piper: Okay, uh, you know what?
I don't know what kind of kinky stuff you're into, but there's a club down
the street you might be more comfortable in. They've got cages and rubber
floors, and a three for two special on Fridays.
Phoebe: Why couldn't you get a boy band song in your head like everybody else?
Piper: Leo! Leo. It's about
time.
Leo: Piper, I was busy.
Piper: Well, don't you have orb-waiting?
Phoebe: The Ice Cream Man? But how
are we supposed to find him?
Prue: Something tells me that's
not gonna be very hard.
Phoebe: Why not?
Prue: Oh, because he's right over
there. Okay, you kids stay here. We'll take care of the good humor man.
Let's go.
Leo: Why don't we try focusing on
the positive? They're together.
Piper: That's it? That's your positive?
Because I've got a list mile long in the negative column. They've been
gone all night, Leo, and not even you can find them.
Piper: Where...
Phoebe: Where we? Oh, I would like
to know the same thing.
Prue: All that we know is that
we have to go back.
Piper: Wait a minute, is this demon
or sibling related?
Phoebe: A little bit of both. We
thought the good guys were bad guys, and in trying to vanquish them, we
helped the real bad guys, which were dead ringers for good guys.
Leo: Was that English?
Piper: So, he's a demonic dog catcher, and he uses ice cream as bait? Great news for the lactose intolerant demons.
Prue: Right, and our powers don't
play, not in this situation. I mean, Pheebs and I tried everything to get
back in, but the door wouldn't budge.
Phoebe: Well, not everything.
Piper: Hmm? Mind sharing with the
room?
Prue: Phoebe had a premonition
of me.
Phoebe: And Dad in the playground.
Piper: You were there? How? When?
Phoebe: Only one way to find out.
Prue: Right, but we don't even
know where he is, never have, not even now, when he might actually come
in handy.
Piper: Welcome to Club Switzerland.
Prue: Alright, could we just curb
the sarcasm there? I just didn't really feel like inviting him to our home
for tea and cookies.
Phoebe: He's our father, Prue.
This is family.
Phoebe: It's good to see you, daddy.
Victor: Oh, baby, you have no idea.
Wow, what a place. This is yours, Piper? It's terrific. The three of you
together. I hardly know where to begin.
Prue: Well, I have a suggestion.
How about we just cut to the chase?
Piper: Uh, Prue, he just got here.
Can't that wait, like, five minutes?
Prue: He's a businessman, Piper.
I would think that he would appreciate that. We can do the whole family
bonding thing once the work is done, alright? So, how about you just tell
us everything that you know about the playground?
Prue: You know if this doesn't work
I can look back and pinpoint the exact moment where it all went wrong.
Piper: And that moment's name would
be dad? Prue, you got to admit, if he can open the door, then we kinda
need him.
Prue: It's all about word choice,
Piper. We don't need him, we need his utter lack of power, right? He opens
the door, we save the day, we get on with our lives. It's a one-time group
effort.
Piper: Glad to see you have a healthy
handle on the situation, Prue.
Prue: I think I do.
Prue: Alright, lost modes of transport
are definitely not my forte. So...
Victor: Prue, sometimes things
in life happen for a reason, no magic involved. Truck's been towed.
Prue: Right.
Victor: Well, let's just say that chasing demons is not exactly my day job.
Victor: Prue, it'll be back. We've gotta get out now! You didn't fail. The only way you fail is if you don't get back and do what he asked. Come on.
Piper: Why don't they ever run into
a well lit room with nowhere to hide?
Phoebe: Well, we know they're somewhere,
and I know what's gonna give them away.
Piper: Why did I get the feeling
these kids weren't looking to pick a fight with the Charmed Ones? They
were just looking for the truck and we crashed their party.
Phoebe: But we're like a mile ahead.
I mean, we know where it is.
Ari: It's in the junkyard.
Phoebe: Oh. Did I say a mile?
Piper: Okay, so they know, but
it's three of us versus three of them. We're even, and bigger.
Piper: Okay, do they do that because
they think it's funny or just to freak us out?
Phoebe: All we have to do is hold
off the demons until dad and Prue get out.
Piper: You haven't by any chance
had a premonition that this is all going to turn out okay and you've just
neglected to inform your kin?
Phoebe: Okay, I think they're surrounding
us.
Piper: No, don't say that. We're
not surrounded until they're all around of us.
Phoebe: Alright, you little brats. Bring it on.
Prue: Aah! Daddy!
Victor: Hold on, Prue!
Prue: Daddy, I need you.
Victor: I've got you. I'm not leaving
without you.
Prue: Dad!
Victor: I've got you. Oh, God.
Piper: When I decide I wanna have kids, you remind me of this day.
Caleb: Strictly professional. I was lost, but until I was sure who you were, I couldn't just come up and say, "Hey, are you a Charmed One?" 'Cause I need you to take me to my demon catching truck. Speaking of which, I'm running kind of late as it is, so, uh, thank you. All of you.
Victor: What's the story with this
Leo character anyway? How much does he know about you?
Piper: Uh, just about everything.
Victor: Oh, so he's...
Piper: He's a wonderful man, yes.
Victor: Well, still I think I should
have a little chat with him sometime.
Piper: Dad...
Victor: It's a father's prerogative.
3.11 "Blinded By The Whitelighter"
Leo: What's that smell?
Prue: That would be the lovely
smell of Piper's breakfast.
Prue: Ok, it's (BOS) up in the attic.
Natalie: Attic? You mean the altar
room, don't you? The rules are perfectly clear. Every witch must keep her
BOS in a sacred and protected spot.
Prue: Right, of course.
Leo: Maybe you can bring the book
down here.
Prue: Yeah.. yeah! I'll just run
up to the altar room, which by the way is right next to the potion lab
and I'll be right back.
Prue: Piper froze ya!
Natalie: She what?
Prue: Yep!
Leo: Hey, you want to freeze me in bed for your own personal pleasures, that's fine..
Leo: Didn't you hear what she said?
Consulting with the Elders is for your own protection.
Piper: And siding with us for yours!
Piper: I'll help. Anything to get
rid of her.
Phoebe: You mean him?
Piper: Nah, I mean her.
Natalie: You must prepare yourselves
for battle mentally, physically, sartorially...
Phoebe: I'm sorry, what?
Piper: She doesn't like our clothes.
Natalie: You need outfits that
are loose and move. That means no more braless, strapless and fearless
attire.
Prue: Ok, but then I have nothing
to wear.
Phoebe: Hey, if we don't vanquish
Eames, can we at least vanquish Natalie?
Piper: Don't tempt me!
3.12 "Wrestling With Demons"
Prue: Alright, what do we do if
Darryl can't convince him to lay low?
Phoebe: Oh, well, we follow him
and if a demon attacks we kick some wiccan ass.
Piper: Look who's back and badder
than ever.
Phoebe: It feels good to be back.
It's the best way to put this whole Cole thing behind me.
Prue: Ugh, innocents and alleys. Don't they ever learn?
Darryl What happened? Why did you
let him get away?
Prue: I know that demon. I dated
that demon. Huh.
Darryl: I think they're lost, Piper.
Dead.
Piper: No, they're not completely.
Phoebe: She waters when she's nervous.
Darryl: There's nothing to be nervous
about. Mr. Chang's in protective custody.
Piper: No, it-it's not him. It's
the whole 'my boyfriend is a demon' thing. It kind of hits a nerve with
all of us, and obviously I'm not that upset because I'm with Leo, who obviously
is not...
Phoebe: Piper also babbles when
she's nervous.
Piper: I resent that. I am expressing
a valid concern about this continuing issue in our lives.
(Prue walks in holding a year book.)
Prue: What are you babbling about?
Piper: You know, if I could freeze
the two of you, I would, often.
Leo: Hi. (Piper and Leo kiss.) I
had... have a situation.
Piper: Uh-oh, you mean and us situation
or a you situation? Oh, don't tell me they've changed their minds about
us getting married because if that is the case, then you can just orb me
up there right now and...
Phoebe: Babbling.
Leo: It has nothing to do with
them. It has to do with me. I sorta kinda lost the wedding ring.
Darryl: Got a great ring guy down
town if you need one.
Piper: He doesn't need one, he
has a ring. Mom's ring. I gave it to him so he could give it back to meat
the perfect romantic moment.
Phoebe: Wow, Leo, you lost mom's
ring. It's a good thing you're dead already.
Leo: I had it in my pocket, Piper.
All the orbing in and out...
Piper: Your orbs are grass if you
do not find that ring.
Leo: Phoebe.
Phoebe: I don't want to talk about
it.
Leo: You have to tell them, Phoebe.
You can't wait any longer.
Phoebe: Well, it's not really an
easy thing to drop into conversation, Leo. You know, like, "Your hair looks
great. Cole's not dead. I let him go."
Leo: Confession is good for the
soul.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, how about we
skip the confession part and go straight to penance? Okay, I will be such
a force for good, the bad guys won't know what him them.
Piper: Cole? Honey, you were trying
to bring a demon back from the dead?
Phoebe: No. He's still alive. I
never really vanquished him.
Piper: So this is where this new
wonder woman attitude comes from? A guilty conscience?
Prue: Hey, what's all this?
Phoebe: Oh, we were just looking
for Tom. You know, with a little spell that we created.
Piper: You created.
Phoebe: Wow, you came up with the
whole ritual that fast?
Piper: Actually, not as fast as
you would think.
Prue: Yeah, and you know what? We
have saved bad boys before. I mean, what about the priest with the warlock
brothers?
Piper: Yeah, but Prue, he wanted
to be saved. Can you guarantee that about Tom or any other demon-human
mix...
Phoebe: This is not about Cole,
okay? That's a whole other subject.
Piper: One worth discussing.
Prue: Am I missing something here?
Piper: Yes...
Phoebe: Yes, actually, we are missing
Tom and he's someone we should probably continue talking about. So if this
spell works and we actually find him, what do we do? Do we vanquish him?
Prue: Huh, alright, since when did
they start delivering newspapers in the afternoon?
They flip through the paper and
notice all the pictures are missing.)
Piper: Since they started taking
out all the pictures.
Prue: You know, when Cole was the
hybrid in question, you were all about saving him.
Piper: Excellent point.
Phoebe: Yes, well, I learned from
my mistake.
Piper: And which mistake was that?
Phoebe: Believing that I could
save a demon.
Piper: Rasputin! Get off the...
get... Rasputin?
Darryl: You got a dog?
Phoebe: No, that's our Grams' dog,
and he's been lost forÖ
Piper: Seven years, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay, so there's one small
side effect. We can handle that.
Phoebe: I cast a little spell.
Darryl: The less I know, the happier
I am.
Piper: Lost friends, mom's ring, and your brown hair. Oh, yeah, mm-hmm.
Phoebe: Well, it must be because
I colored my hair in that sink. So technically I lost it there and now
I've found it again. I hope this doesn't affect my virginity.
Piper: Wait, so everything is coming
back to where it was lost? That means you lost your... oh!
(Hundreds of socks fall out of the
laundry room.)
Phoebe: Okay, so it's a big side
effect.
Piper: Those better be clean. If
not, it's laundry day for you, missy. (They hear a door close.)
Piper: What was that?
Prue: That would be Tom escaping.
Phoebe: What?
Prue: Yeah, I loosened his ropes.
I'm hoping to track him down to the demon that turned him, break him, break
his hold on Tom. Anything that you can get me on Kellman I'd appreciate,
okay?
Phoebe: Alright, I guess we're
going now.
Prue: Okay, so I think I have an
idea of how to... whoa.
Phoebe: My lost and found spell's
a little too enthusiastic.
Piper: We're finding stuff all
over the house. It's endless.
Piper: This is weird. So Kellman
poses as a human and then what? Gives athletes a way out of their problems?
Phoebe: Yeah, a demonic way out.
Piper: Remind me again why we are
doing this.
Phoebe: Because your sisters have
a thing for saving bad boys.
Piper: If I die before I get married,
I'm gonna be really mad at the two of you.
Phoebe: Maybe we need to go back
up top and rethink this whole thing.
Prue: Oh, well, you know what,
Phoebe? That would be such a great plan if Tom weren't seconds away from
annihilation.
Darryl: Man, you can't do that around
here!
Leo: I can't sense the girls anywhere,
which is never good. Do you know where they might be?
Darryl: They were tailing their
demon, hoping he would lead them to his... bigger demon
Kellman: You girls are way out of
your league down here. You have no idea.
Prue: Well, we know that you have
a deadline, Mr. Kellman. Time to deliver your recruits?
Kellman: And you think you can
stop me, hmm? Think you can save him? I kind of admire that level of arrogance.
Prue: Thanks. We kind of like to
think of it as confidence.
Phoebe: Uh, Prue, there's one more
thing.
Piper: Now? Now is your perfect
moment?
Phoebe: Piper, we might die in
there.
Piper: That doesn't mean you should
tell her now.
Prue: Okay, tell me what?
Phoebe: Cole is still alive. I
never really vanquished him.
Prue: What?
Piper: Ah! If anything happens to
me, he's gonna stay that way.
Phoebe: (whispers) Is that true?
Piper: (whispers) Yes.
Piper: Hey, you that bad feeling
I was talking about? It's getting stronger. Prue: Alright, you need to
stay here and keep Tom frozen, okay?
Piper: I hate this crappy freezing
power!
Piper: Okay, oh god, oh god, come on, do something! Get angry! Focus! Get motivated! Prue, listen to me. She lied to you big time. Big time lied to you. Come on, get angry! Come on, or else we're in big deep s-. Phoebe, she thinks you're a weakling, like, big time sucker for love. Oh god!
Prue: Alright, we have to save Piper.
Phoebe: How do we do that?
Prue: By kicking ass
Phoebe: Okay, not that I'm not thrilled
to see you, but what are you doing here, Leo?
Leo: I was looking for you. I thought
I'd start with Kellman.
Prue: Thanks for coming, Mrs. Peters.
Mrs. Peters: But I don't understand.
Prue: You will soon. Any sign of
Kellman?
Darryl: No, but there are plenty
of other signs.
Phoebe: Uh-oh, seems like some
lost souls were found.
Prue: Yeah, we need to reverse
this spell quick.
Phoebe: Prue, we're about to have other problems from other worlds.
Phoebe: So maybe the spell wasn't
such a bad thing after all.
Piper: Are you kidding? We're gonna
have to hold a huge garage sale every Saturday for like the next three
months to get rid of all the stuff that came back here.
Prue: What about your hair?
Phoebe: Mmm, I'm tempted to keep
it but I don't know, I think the blonde's coming back.
Prue: Is anything else?
Phoebe: No. You were right about
Tom and I was wrong about Cole. I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Well, obviously an apology
doesn't fix it, but I'm not stupid, Prue, I know that I made a bad choice.
Prue: A choice that betrayed us.
Phoebe: I didn't do it to betray
you, Prue, I did it out of love.
Prue: Right. Love. Love that almost
got all of us killed.
Phoebe: You wanted to save Tom
after, I don't know, how many years? Why can't you understand how I felt
about Cole.
Prue: Phoebe, what I don't understand
is how you could have lied to us. Piper and me, a lie, that still poses
a threat to all three of us.
Phoebe: Where do we go from here?
Prue: I don't know.
3.12 "Bride And Gloom"
Piper: Gee, Prue, it's only 9:00 and your date's already over? How very Disney of you.
Leo: I don't know. I just don't
want to set her up for a big disappointment. I mean, how do you have a
normal wedding when a ghost'll be presiding and the groom's dead?
Prue: Leo, don't even try to figure
it out, alright? It's a Cinderella complex. Every girl goes through it.
I've been dreaming of this day my entire life.
Leo: Piper's wedding?
Leo: Great idea. Maybe she can bring
some of her fairy friends. Or trolls, even better.
Female Planner: Trolls?
Piper: Uh...
Prue: Right, trolls, uh, our father's
side of the family is very short.
Piper: Right, let's skip the flower
girl.
Male Planner: Now, have you
thought of what kind of hor d'eouvres you'd like by any chance?
Piper: Um...
Leo: Pigs in a blanket.
(Piper laughs.)
Piper: Leo, I was, I was hoping
for something a little bit more elegant.
Piper: Okay, tell me the truth.
Do you think I'm overdoing it with the wedding stuff? Hello?
Prue: Uh, okay, why is Phoebe going
to school without her books?
Piper: Okay, why is Prue not answering
Piper's question?
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, believe it
because if I ever see you again, I'm gonna do what I should've done a long
time ago, which is vanquish your sorry ass.
Cole: Apparently distance hasn't
exactly made the heart grow fonder.
Phoebe: Huh.
Cole: Okay, that's okay, I understand. As long as you didn't tell Leo. (Phoebe looks away.) Oh, for god's sake, Phoebe. Why didn't you just put an ad in the paper, tell the whole damn world!
Piper: Find her?
Phoebe: Not yet.
Piper: We're screwed.
Phoebe: Not yet.
Piper: Leo, what did you find out?
Leo: Nothing.
Phoebe: Okay, now we're screwed.
Cole: It's hard to say. Could be anything. They may want your Book. We all want your Book.
Phoebe: Uh, brainstorming. How's
it going here?
Leo: Your sister's blinking.
Phoebe: I-I'm, I'm sorry, what?
Piper: Okay, I admit it, it was
definitely weird, but it was kinda fun. I was, I was in there and I was
thinking about the kitchen and then suddenly, boom! Here I was.
Phoebe: That is so cool.
Male Planner: I revisited the dinner
menu, Piper, and you are going to be thrilled. I have some dynamic choices
that I...
Piper: I want pigs in blankets.
Female Planner: It's nice to see
a bride who still has a sense of humor this close to the big day.
Piper: No, I want pigs in blankets.
Phoebe: Marie seems very scared.
Piper: I always had her pegged
as an ice queen.
Phoebe: Oh! What a great idea.
Piper: Now there's a freezing power
with kick.
Piper: I don't know. He is kind
of a stick in the mud, isn't he?
Phoebe: Oh, another great idea.
May I?
Piper: Be my guest.
Leo: Alright, think about the power
of three.
(Phoebe turns Leo into a stick
in a bucket of mud.)
Leo: What happened to Craig and
Marie?
Piper: Oh, they flew right outta
here. Scared the hell out of them.
Phoebe: Leo, we need to find Prue.
Leo: Good, Phoebe, focus on that.
It'll help you resist the evil.
Phoebe: The only thing we're resisting
is the desire to rip you to pieces and have you for lunch.
Piper: But if you help us find
Prue, we'll leave you alone, for the moment.
Piper: Oh, no, he's gone. We're free.
Cole: Phoebe, if what I found out
is true, Prue's in serious trouble. She's been forced to marry a warlock.
Phoebe: Figures that bitch would
steal Piper's thunder.
Phoebe: Now the really weird thing
is, we could do that to the other hand and then go down to your feet.
Piper: Actually, we could work
up, piece by piece all the way to her head.
Phoebe: Shouldn't you be mourning
the loss of your beloved Leo?
Piper: Oh, Phoebe, I'm serious.
That was one pissed off priestess. And if she kills Prue, she takes the
evil power of three along with her, and we won't stand a chance.
Piper: Welcome to Planet Narcissus.
Phoebe: I just hope the wedding
planners don't remember what we did to them.
Leo: Unfortunately, they will,
but I doubt they'll believe what happened.
Piper: And unfortunately you will.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, Leo, sorry we
killed you.
3.14 "The Good, The Bad and The Cursed"
Phoebe: Alright, dad, spill it.
What are we doing here?
Victor: What, can't a father spend
a little quality time with his daughter? Especially after all the time
we've been apart.
Phoebe: Alright, I take after you,
okay. I've inherited all of your tricks, especially your fine art of fibbing.
Victor: Phoebe? Phoebe, what's going
on? Sweetheart, you're bleeding.
Phoebe: I wouldn't buy this place,
dad. Really, really bad Feng Shui.
Piper: Mmm, maybe, um, mum. What?
It's my wedding. At least she could be here in spirit, if nothing else.
Prue: Yes, she can be.
Prue: So, Leo, you nervous? I mean,
only one more week before dum, dum, dum-dum.
Piper: Thanks.
Leo: Well, as long as no demons
come bursting through that door, until them, I am fine.
Victor: (running in) Prue! Piper!
(Victor and Phoebe come in)
Piper: (to Leo) You had to jinx
it.
Phoebe: Dad doesn't know that Leo
is a Whitelighter.
Prue, Leo: What?
Piper: Well, I've been meaning
to tell him, but considering mum had an affair with her Whitelighter, I
didn't think he'd be really receptive to the idea.
Leo: Piper, he's gonna kill me
when he finds out.
Piper: Oh, don't be ridiculous,
you're already dead.
Prue: Sounds like a ghost to me.
Leo: It can't be. Ghosts don't
bleed.
Piper: Ahem.
Leo: I mean, so I've read in books.
Obviously it's not my area of expertise.
Victor: Mine, neither. What do
you say we let the supernatural stuff to the pros and go grab a bite?
Leo: I don't know, Mr. Bennett.
Prue: Oh.
(Prue and Piper smile as Prue pats
Leo on his back.)
Victor: Victor, please. It's time
you called me Victor, son. Come on.
Victor: Don't get me wrong, Leo.
I want this marriage to succeed. That's why I'm warning you. But there
are dangers out there worse than demons and warlocks. You do know about
them, don't you?
Leo: Well, yeah, sure.
Victor: Well, the dangers I'm talking
about, you're not even gonna see coming. The thing I'm talking about will
just sneak up on you and destroy your marriage if you're not careful. Leo,
do you know what a Whitelighter is?
Leo: Uh...
Cole: I told Phoebe last week that
I wasn't giving up on her and I, I meant it.
Piper: You talked to Phoebe? He
talked to you?
Cole: Uh-huh.
Prue: You said that he was alive.
You never said that he was back.
Phoebe: It didn't matter because
as I told him, I don't want anything to do with him anymore.
(Prue starts to use her telekinesis
on Cole)
Piper: Hey, hey, hey! I just set
that table. We don't have time to buy a new one before dinner.
Leo: Uh-oh.
Victor: What?
Leo: I have to go now.
Victor: Go?
Leo: Yeah, and I don't think you're
gonna like the way I have to go, either.
(Leo orbs out as Victor sits there
in horror)
Piper: You said you don't use your
powers anymore.
Cole: Shimmering isn't a lethal
power.
Phoebe: Play nice, you two.
Cole: Gotta hold my hand.
Prue: This already sucks.
Victor: Leo! You lying little piece
of--
Piper: Okay, dad, not now. Stay
with Phoebe. We'll be back
Victor: What?
Phoebe: Well, don't get mad at
me, I've been shot.
Prue: Alright, just so we're clear,
I'm in charge here. You're just my ride.
Cole: Fine with me. What's your
plan?
Prue: Find Bo, lay low.
Cole: That's a plan?
Bartender: What'll it be?
Prue: Hi. Moonshine.
Bartender: A what?
Cole: She means Whiskey. Make it
two. Leave the bottle. (to Prue) You watch too many old movies.
Prue: And you'd be confusing me
with Phoebe.
Cole: Not a chance.
Prue: Hi. What am I? A potted plant?
Talk to me. What's so dangerous?
Bartender: It's nothing to concern
your pretty little head about.
Prue: Okay, now that's condescending.
Cole: Lay low, remember?
Prue: What the hell is wrong with
you people?
Sutter: Well, well, well. What
do we got here?
Cole: Uh, Prue?
Sutter: Lady, I don't know who
you are or where you come from but you obviously don't have the slightest
idea who you're dealing with.
Prue: Oh, please, what a cliché.
Victor: Hey, I didn't come back
into your lives just to be kept in the dark. I'm your dad, you can tell
me anything.
Phoebe: I'm dying.
Victor: Oh, come on.
Phoebe: No, I can feel what's happening
to me. It's like a... something that you can feel deep inside of you. I-I
can't explain it.
Victor: You're sisters are not
gonna let that happen, I am not gonna let that happen.
Cole: Any idea what we should say
to him?
Prue: We're not gonna say anything.
I'll do the talking.
Cole: You know, it wouldn't kill
you to be nice to me.
Prue: Really. It's funny you should
say that, considering how many times you actually tried to kill me.
Prue: Right. After all this is done,
you need to leave us alone. Otherwise, we'll have to do to you what we
should have done in the first place, which is vanquish you.
Cole: Then that's what you're gonna
have to do because it's the only way you're gonna keep me away from Phoebe.
Leo: I am doing something, I am
trusting your other daughter Prue. You know, I know that you feel helpless.
We all do. But Prue is not gonna let Phoebe die and neither is Cole.
Victor: Oh, so now I'm supposed
to trust a demon?
Leo: You know, as much as I hate
to say this, Cole loves Phoebe. He took a huge risk to come here and try
and prove himself to her and he will do whatever it takes to save her life.
Phoebe: He's right.
Victor: How can you be so sure?
Phoebe: Because he loves me as
much as I love him.
Cole: Are you seriously telling
me you're willing to sacrifice your sister's life for a town full of cowboys?
Prue: What I'm saying to you is
that there's a great good at stake here, one that I can't just walk away
from and one that you shouldn't walk away from if you truly expect to be
good.
Bo: What about the curse?
Prue: It's a beautiful sunset isn't
it? I don't think there's been one quite like it in 128 years.
Cowboy: Looks like you're outta
bullets. I'm gonna enjoy this. See you in hell.
Cole: Been there, done that.
(The cowboy pulls out his gun and
Cole throws a electric ball at him. As Prue walks in she sees Cole laughing
at the cowboy.)
Prue: Like I said, once a demon
always a demon.
Cole: Well, I guess I should be
going.
Prue: Yeah, that would probably
be a good idea.
(Phoebe walks over to Cole.)
Phoebe: You're not going anywhere.
Cole: Phoebe, I don't want to cause
any trouble.
(Phoebe kisses him and everyone
looks away.)
3.15 "Just Harried"
Phoebe: Sleep. You've been yawning
all day.
Prue: Try all week. It's this reoccurring
dream I keep having. It's keeping me awake.
Phoebe: Really? What's in the dream?
Prue: Well, uh, there was this
biker guy and he's kinda cute and kinda dangerous.
Phoebe: Sounds kinda yummy.
Grams: Piper, sweetie, well, what
do you think?
Piper: It's-it's beautiful.
Phoebe: Yeah, and the best part
about it is, it's finally happening
Piper: Flowers and bows and grams.
The only thing missing is...
Prue: Mom.
Piper: Grams, are you sure that
you can't do...
Grams: No, nothing. I'm only here
because you need a high priestess. They want me back by the witching hour
tomorrow
Grams: I'll see you tomorrow at 4:00, Mrs. Halliwell. The women keep their names in this family.
Phoebe: Was that just giggling I
heard?
Piper: Yes, I am guilty of giggling
and I am guilty of being happier than any previous romance in my life.
Phoebe: Piper, it's your wedding
day!
Piper: I know.
Phoebe: Here comes the bridesmaid!
(Phoebe jumps on the bed as Prue walks in.) Prue, come play!
Inspector: Is that her? Is that
the woman you were with last night?
TJ: Yeah, so what?
Inspector: So what's her name?
TJ: I don't know.
Inspector: Ah, you stick your tongue
down her throat but you don't know her name?
TJ: That against the law?
Phoebe: Check out what I found in
the attic.
Prue: I hope it's something old
'cause we already have new, borrowed and blue covered.
Phoebe: Is Melinda Warren's blessing
cup old enough?
Prue: That is very cool.
Phoebe: Um, maybe we should wait
until Cole gets here. He should be here any minute.
Prue: You're kidding, right?
Phoebe: No, you knew he was coming
to the wedding.
Prue: Yeah, to the wedding, Phoebe,
but the moments leading up to it belong to the family. And I'm sorry, but
Cole is not family, okay, he is still a demon. And I don't think Piper
needs a demon--
Piper screams
Piper: It is bad luck to see the
bride's dress before the wedding.
Leo: But you're not even wearing
the dress.
Piper: The same rule applies to
the bride's... curlers. Go away.
Prue: Oh, good, you're here.
Leo: Yeah, I'm just looking for
a place to change.
Leo is holding a white robe
Prue: Uh, what's with the robe?
Leo: Oh, it's my formal Whitelighter
wear.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, I hope you don't
mind but we sort of decided that you should be a little bit more traditional,
so we rented you a tux.
Victor: So you rented a tux, huh?
I thought for sure you'd be wearing one of those long robes all you Whitelighters
love so much.
Leo: I decided to go a little more
traditional
Phoebe Okay, why don't you let me
handle this almighty To Do list, and you go upstairs and get some rest.
Don't sleep, just rest.
Prue: Okay.
Phoebe: Huh, wow, so you're relinquishing
control to your little sister. You must really be tired. (Prue leaves.
Phoebe picks up the photo of her mom, Patty.) Please help us through this
day, mom.
Prue: No, I won't let this be the
one thing that goes wrong today. I'll be okay as long as I stay awake,
right? For Piper?
Phoebe: For Piper.
Prue: Yeah, I mean, look, I told
you, you have nothing to worry about today, alright? It's going to be a
demon-free day. (Cole shimmers in and scares Prue and Piper) Hey!
Cole: Sorry I'm late.
Piper: (to Prue) You were saying?
Piper: See? No matter what, a demon
will attack today. It's just the natural order of our universe.
Phoebe: Piper, you have to stay
positive. You know what? I have Celine Dion 'Behind The Music' on video
cassette. Would you like to watch that?
Piper: Would you like to get slapped?
Cole: Don't worry, leave the demons
to me. I can handle anything that comes through...
Phoebe: Oh, no you don't. You promised
you were not gonna use your demonic powers anymore.
Cole: Oh, sorry. Old habits.
Phoebe: Think good.
Cole: Oh, I am um, I brought a
gift.
Victor: So are you and Piper gonna
move out, get your own place?
Leo: Not right away.
Victor: Well, just between you
and me, isn't that a little tough on the old pride? Living off the girls
like that?
Leo: Look, Victor, I know you don't
like the idea of your daughter marrying a Whitelighter.
Victor: Oh, I never said that.
But now that you mention it, yeah, I'd prefer Piper to marry a mortal.
Leo: Well, Piper's not mortal,
she's a witch. She was given her gifts to serve a higher calling.
Victor: A calling that only people
like you could understand, right? The same crap my ex-wife's Whitelighter
used to steal her away from me.
Leo: And I'm sorry that happened
to you, I really am. But with all do respect, this isn't about you and
Patty, this is about me and Piper. I love her with all my heart, and I
promise to keep loving her and taking care of her for the rest of this
life, the afterlife and whatever comes after that. Now you may not support
it and you may not agree with it but it is not gonna stop me from marrying
your daughter today. Nothing will.
Victor: You know... I could probably
get used to having a Whitelighter for a son-in-law.
(Victor ties Leo's bow tie as Cole
comes down the stairs.)
Cole: Everybody having fun down
here?
Leo: (to Victor) How do you stand
on demons?
Prue: Get ready, get set, get through
it for Piper.
Phoebe: For Piper.
Patty: Oh, you're so beautiful.
Piper: Mom?
Patty: Don't be afraid.
Piper: Oh my god. But... it can't
be 'cause ghosts glow. You're not glowing.
Patty: I'm not a ghost. Well, not
today. Today I am simply your mother.
Piper: But, uh, how?
Patty: After all the Elders put
you and Leo through, they wanted to give you something back, so, so they
sent me down, just for your wedding day. You know, I think I wore my hair
like this for my wedding day.
Piper: You did. Uh, I kept your
wedding album after you died and... (Patty pushes a piece of Piper's hair
in place.) And I looked at the pictures every night like a bedtime story.
Patty: I always thought you'd be
the first to get married. You're the heart of this family, Piper.
Piper: I'm not dreaming am I?
Patty: No, sweetie, you're not.
Phoebe: Mum.
Piper: It's true. She's real. They
sent her to us for today.
Patty: Oh, Prue. It's been so hard
on you, unfair.
Prue: Yeah... no, it doesn't matter.
I just wanted to make you proud.
Patty: You protected this family
better than I could. I'm so proud of you.
Prue: Thank you. (They hug.)
Patty: (to Phoebe) And you, my
baby, you feel it all, don't you? I was never there to comfort you. I died
before you even knew me.
Phoebe: Some nights I just wanted
you to hold me.
Patty: Your road's been the longest,
Phoebe. But I was never worried about you. You know why? Because I had
a premonition the day you were born.
Phoebe: You did?
Piper: What did you see?
Patty: Oh, I saw this. I saw this
moment right now, my three daughters standing before me as beautiful young
women and I knew that everything would be okay.
Phoebe: What did you see next?
Patty: I held you.
(They all hug.)
Prue: Alright, let's just stay cool
and we'll get downtown and straighten this out later. But we have to get
through the wedding first, okay? For Piper?
Phoebe: For Piper. (They look at
Darryl.) You're supposed to say 'For Piper'.
Darryl: Alright, it better be a
quick wedding.
Patty: Hello, Victor, how are you?
Victor: Good. I mean, I was good.
Alright, who brought my ex-wife back from the dead?
Grams: Not now, Victor. I know
you two have issues but that's what the reception is for.
TJ: Had to beat the cops. I won't
let them take you.
Piper: Prue, what the hell is going
on?
Phoebe: Prue, you get your astral
ass back here
Leo: Piper,
Piper: Leo, I'm sorry, but this
is just the final straw. It's just not meant to be.
Leo: No. All I need is what's inside
of me to know that Piper and I are meant to be together. What happened
here today...
Phoebe: Piper and Leo's love have
touched us all. We have to fix this.
Patty: Just let me do the talking.
You always had a way of saying the wrong thing when they were young.
Victor: Wrong, according to you,
you were never open to what I had to say because you wanted to raise them
as witches... instead of little girls.
Piper: Not ever. I mean, I think
it's obvious, don't you? Leo and I are just clearly not...
Patty: Destined to be? Oh, I don't
believe that. And I don't think that you really believe that either.
Piper: Don't I? All I have to do
is look at you and dad to see where I might end up if I marry Leo. I mean,
look at the track record. The Halliwells, we are blessed as witches and
we are cursed as women. Sometimes I think we're all destined to end up
alone.
Patty: You don't really... I mean,
just because... Victor.
Victor: You think your mother and
I were cursed?
Piper: Don't you?
Victor: Honestly, I look back at
those days as the best of my life. I loved your mother, she was the best
thing that ever happened to me until the three of you came along.
Piper: But your marriage still
didn't last.
Victor: Yeah, that hurt. A lot.
But it was our love that gave birth to you and your sisters. Maybe that
was my destiny.
Piper: I'm sorry, I just need to
be alone.
Phoebe: Nice spell, huh?
Prue: How dare you.
Phoebe: How dare you. You destroyed
Piper's wedding along with Piper. Now, Prue, I don't know what's going
on with you but you have got to pull yourself together.
Prue: I'm outta here. (Prue starts
to walk away, so Phoebe gets up and grabs Prue's shoulder as Prue flips
Phoebe onto the ground.) You know what? (She grabs Phoebe by the throat.)
You can not stop me, alright. I am never going back. I'm not going... (Phoebe
swings her around onto the couch.) Alright, you know what? I am sick of
this. She is all about duty and obligation, well not me. Alright, I want
to be free, I wanna find love, I wanna have a life.
Prue: Is Piper very mad at me?
Phoebe: She'll get over it. And
you know why? Because we're okay now, Piper and me. We've both got passion
and purpose in our lives and you gave us that.
Prue: I did?
Phoebe: You took care of us. And
now it's time to take care of you
Cole: I guess that's the knife you
used on the victim when you found him unconscious, right?
Biker #2: You wanna closer look
at it, huh?
Cole: One more chance. Confess
now and talk to the police.
Biker #2: Or what?
(Cole changes into Belthazor.)
Belthazor: Or deal with me.
Piper: So, okay, what are we waiting for? (Piper takes off her sweater.) (to Leo) Don't look so shocked
Grams: We are gathered here today
to unite two souls as one. Do you, Leo Wyatt, and Piper Halliwell, join
us here of your own free will to acknowledge the eternal bond shared by
both of you.
Leo: I do.
Piper: I do.
Grams: You may face each other,
join hands. Leo, you may recite your vows.
Leo: Piper, through all the tears
and struggles, I always knew in my heart that we'd make it here. I promise
to love and respect you from this point forward as your husband, as my
wife, my lover, my friend, and my soul mate. All I am is yours.
Grams: Piper...
Piper: Leo, you are the best thing
that has ever happened to me. I was afraid that you were too good to be
true, that maybe I didn't deserve someone so pure and beautiful and loving
as you are. But here we are surrounded by the people that I love the most
and I feel so proud, and so blessed to be your wife. Leo, I was born to
love you and I always will.
Grams: Here before witnesses, Leo
and Piper have sworn their vows towards each other. With this cord, I bind
them to those vows.
(A rope is tied around their hand.)
Piper, Leo: Heart to thee, body
to thee, always and forever, so mote it be.
Grams: So mote it be.
All: So mote it be.
(The clock strikes twelve.)
Grams: Kiss her fast.
3.16 "Death Takes A Halliwell"
Phoebe: I hereby proclaim this power of sand Kingdom Phoebeville! Yay!
Phoebe: Wait, what don't you get?
Prue: That you just spent an hour
of your life building something that is just gonna be completely, completely
destroyed and disappear in about five seconds flat.
Phoebe: Ahh, but Phoebeville will
live forever in the hearts of the villagers who come to love it.
Prue: Mm-hmm.
Phoebe: What's with the ba-hum
castle attitude there?
Phoebe: The whole point of today
was to relax and have fun.
Prue: See, and I thought the point
was to give Piper and Leo some alone married people time since they decided
to wait on their honeymoon.
Phoebe: Okay. So you're sure nothing's
wrong?
Prue: You know, the beach isn't
exactly my idea of a good time.
Phoebe: Prue, how is that possible?
Prue: Okay, well, you're too young
to remember, but this is where Grams brought us after Mom's funeral to
try and cheer us up
Phoebe: Princess Prue has spoken!
By the orders of the Queen, that's meÖ
Prue: Ooh, I got that part.
Phoebe: Phoebeville, and all of
it's glory will be abandoned for greater pastures and two lattes.
Prue: Oh, all hail the Queen.
Phoebe: Yay, I love to be hailed.
Leo: Look, I can orb you because you're my wife but I'm not a cosmic taxi for the whole family.
Phoebe: So you're just gonna disappear
again?
Cole: If that's what it takes to
keep you safe.
Phoebe: What about keeping me sane,
Cole. I'm not gonna lose you again.
Cole: They're after me, Phoebe.
This is my battle. I'll handle it.
Phoebe: Cole. I love you, and if
holding onto that means that I have to fight a couple of extra demons along
the way, then bring ëem on.
Cole: Oh, no no no. Last time I
touched that book it electrocuted me.
Phoebe: Yeah, will, maybe because
your intentions were evil. Maybe it knows now you're trying to be good.
Cole: Better safe than sorry.
Prue: Oh, alright, I need the Book.
Wait a second, what is he doing here next to it?
Cole: Keeping my distance, don't
worry.
Phoebe: Uh, pardon the potential
understatement of a cliché, but you look like you've seen a ghost.
Phoebe: What's with the lamp?
Leo: A wedding present.
Piper: Bright isn't it?
Prue: Uh, yeah. Um, Leo, is there
such a thing as death? Uh, I mean the Angel of Death.
Leo: Yeah, sure. Why?
Prue: Because I met him.
Phoebe: Uh, what, are you kidding
me?
Leo: No, he can't be. Angel of Death
isn't evil.
Prue: The hell he isn't. And if
I can see him, that must mean that I'm supposed to stop him.
Leo: Prue, you can't stop him.
The Angel of Death always gets what he comes for.
Prue: Yeah, well, then you saw wrong. I'm not gonna let Death take any more of my innocents. I'm tired of losing people.
Cole: But I can't do that. If demons
get to you, they'll find out the way to get to me is to kill Phoebe and
I can't let that happen.
Reese: You say demon?
Cole: Only as a metaphor.
Seeker: Belthazor, I assume.
Cole: I'm sorry, who?
Seeker : We sensed your shimmer.
You're losing your touch.
Seeker: Well, well, well. The mighty
Belthazor, in bed with a witch.
Prue: Don't make me sick.
Piper: It's just so bright.
Leo: Of course it's bright. It's
supposed to represent the light of eternal love.
Piper: Wait, does that mean we
can never turn if off?
Phoebe: At this rate you're gonna
turn it off in record time.
Piper: I'm just saying, I don't
think it belongs in the living room.
Leo: Or the parlor, the dining
room, the foyer.
Prue: I was busy saving Davidson.
Cole: No, that's what I was doing.
Phoebe: Hello? What happened? Is
he okay?
Prue: Yeah. I kicked ass.
Cole: No, you kicked air.
Prue: No, I told you