Everything Is Okay

People think Shawn is dumb and mostly they're right, but he's smart when it comes to people. When it comes to Corey, especially. You can't know someone for your entire life and not be smart about them, and Shawn didn't have a life before he met Corey. Not really, anyway.

So Shawn knows Corey, is the point. Shawn knows Corey and Shawn knows that when Corey wraps his fingers in Shawn's hair, he doesn't feel short, fine hair and the curve of skull. He feels long thick curly strands wrapped around his fingers, softer than Shawn's will ever be. When he kisses Shawn, he's not feeling the soft burn of stubble or tasting the Chubbieburger on his tongue. He's tasting soydogs and orange juice and feeling smooth skin against him, girl skin.

Mostly its just that when Corey kisses Shawn, he's not really kissing Shawn. He's kissing Topanga.

Not that Corey would ever give that away, of course. He moans the right name when Shawn slips a hand down the front of his pants, and his wide brown eyes open on Shawn's face and don't close again until he comes. He even makes all the right noises about how bad he feels, about how he's cheating on Topanga but he just can't help it because he needs Shawn so much, and Shawn just want to tell him to give it up, that he knows Corey's not cheating at all. That Corey might say "Shawn," when there's a hand wrapped around his dick, but when he closes his eyes to sleep at night, Topanga is always there.

Because Topanga isn't that kind of girl, but Shawn apparently is.

Its okay, though. Shawn has known Corey all of his life and he's always known that he wasn't good enough. Not good enough to be his boyfriend and not good enough to be his friend. But somehow he is Corey's friend, Corey's best friend, and that makes everything okay. Its okay that he's dumb, its okay that he's poor, its okay that Corey will never love him the way he loves Topanga. Corey is his best friend, forever.

Everything is okay.