Wanton, willful & passive
Married to doubt
Clothed in great warring monuments
of glory
How it has changed you
How slowly estranged you
Solely arranged you
Beg you for mercy
~"LAmerica" by Jim Morrison
When Harry is ushered to 12 Grimmauld Place on the night of his sixteenth birthday, he is so terribly changed that Remus aches to look at him. He's thin--not his normal orphan skinniness, but a boniness that speaks of food turned to dust on a grieving tongue--and he smiles only through gRitted teeth, as though he wants to bite everyone he sees.
Remus understands, he does--he knows he's had much the same look in the months since Sirius fell--but he'd been hoping that Harry would grieve in another way. In a way that Remus can help him with. But if Remus can't even scrape the black grit of pain and rage from his own eyes, what can he possibly do for Harry?
Luckily, Harry tells him. He barely speaks to anyone else, just a muted "Hello" to Ron and Hermione, and a "No, thank you" to Mrs. Weasley's offers of dinner, but that night he crawls into Remus's bed, eyes burning and teeth gleaming through the darkness.
He speaks to Remus, but only in commands, "Fuck me," and "Touch me, touch my cock," and "Just do it, just fuck me, its the only thing that--" before Remus cuts him off with his tongue, unwilling or unable to hear that this, only this, is all that Remus can do for him. Remus obeys, runs his hands over Harry's skin and strokes his cock and fucks him, knees over Remus's shoulders and head thrown back on the bed, black hair against white sheets.
He doesn't say anything after that, doesn't say yes but doesn't say no, either, so Remus just fucks him and follows suit, digging his teeth into Harry's shoulder to stop the flow of words. Words like, "I'm sorry" and "I want to help you" and "Please, please let me stop."
The next morning, the bite on Harry's shoulder bleeds red through his thin white t-shirt. His eyes, black pupils hugely devouring the green of his irises, meet Remus's over the kitchen table, and Remus wants to beg for the chance to scrape that pain away with something other than his teeth.
