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exactly how good they were. They were each given 200 drug addicts, 1 sheet of paper, and a pencil. After a few hours they were called back in and asked how they did. Many had made no progress when one stood up and stated he had gotten 50 to stop drugs immediately. In disbelief he was asked how. Simple he stated, on one side of the paper I drew a circle and said this is your brain. On the other side I drew a very small circle and said this is your brain on drugs. Immediately 50 stopped using drugs. At this time another psychologist stood up and said that's nothing, I got all 200 of my addicts to drop their habits immediately. Then he was asked how. Simple he said, on one side of the paper I drew a circle and said this is your brain. Then on the other side I drew a really big circle and said this is your butt hole when you go to prison. CAB UNFARE A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blondesaid, "I hate all the blonde jokes people tell.""Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."They went outside and hailed a taxi driver."Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.The taxi drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See! That guy was really stupid.""No kidding," replied the blonde. "There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead." BLONDES ARE NOT DUMB This particular blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are percieved as being stupid, so she sets about to do something about it. She decides that while her husband is off at work she will paint a couple of rooms in the house.The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 PM and notices the distinct odor of fresh paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He also notices that she is wearing her ski jacket under her fur coat. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies that she is. He asks her what the hell she is doing wearing the ski jacket and the fur coat. She replies that she wanted to prove that not all blondes are dumb and was going to prove it by painting the interior of thehouse. But, before she got started she would read the directions on the paintcan and it said right there on the can, "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS" LETS GET TECHNICAL ___________________________ In 2031, President Clinton finishes his time on earth and approaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven... "And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter. "It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World." "Oh...Mr....... President! What may I do for you?" asks St. Peter. "I'd like to come in," replies Clinton. "Sure," says the Saint. "But first, you have to confess your sins. What bad things have you done in your life?" Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana, but you can't call it 'dope-smoking' because I didn't inhale. There were inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you can't call it 'adultery' because I didn't have full 'sexual relations.' And I made some statements that were misleading, but legally accurate, but you can't call it 'bearing false witness' because, as far as I know, it didn't meet the legal standard of perjury." With that, St. Peter consults the Book of Life briefly, and declares, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be there indefinitely, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And when you enter, you don't have to abandon all hope, just hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over." |
